If you're not having it done laproscopically, the incision will most likely be vertical from pubic bone to the belly button area.
When it comes to vanity, my scar healed so that I'm able to wear a bathing suit that's a bikini top with a skirt that shows my stomach, and it doesn't show.
When it comes to pain, they'll give you excellent pain meds by IV in the hospital to keep you comfortable. When you get home, you'll be able to take pain pills until the pain goes away.
I think watching a video of what they're going to do would make my anxiety worse...
When is your surgery? If your anxiety is really bad, you could always ask your surgeon for some Xanax to help keep you calm until surgery.
It's going to be okay, I promise!
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free and medicine-free since surgery and very thankful to be healthy again.