As most of you know, I'm having a re-operation for my ileostomy in July and hopefully get rid of my velcroed leg bag. I am nervous, but received a letter in the mail from my colorectal surgeon today, and I am so very scared that I can't get any of my intrusive thoughts out of my mind. I was in the hospital for 52 days last year and this is almost too much to bear.
Part of my letter said " As you know, when we met on March 8, 2010, I reviewed with you the results of the recently performed CAT skans and water-soluble contrast studies. We discussed in great detail all of the various risks, benefits, alternatives, possible complications. You understood these issues and requested to proceed on July 14, 2010, with an exploratory laproscopy, extensive lysis of adhesions, takedown of enterocutaneous fistula, hopefully construction of an end-Brooke ileostomy, and any other resections as necessary."
It further reads "We discussed in great detail with you and your family all of the various risks, benefits, alternatives, and possible complications, including but not limited to severe infection, loss of all of your small intestine with requirement of permanent intravenous nutrition, and death. I have asked that you have at least 4 units of blood available for the time of surgery. You understand the gravity and serious nature of this surgery, along with the significant potentioal for complications, risks, and death, and you have requested to proceed with the surgery."
I have been crying since I opened and read my letter this afternoon. Hearing this news was bad, but to open this letter and actually read it, was awful. I am a mess, but don't have any choice. That is why I feel so cheated.