Kathy, Gosh I am so sorry, here is my arms wrapping around you and your son. Stress causes shingles I know I had them...not fun. Your son is sure taking a lot on his shoulders as he did not do this to his father, granted it was his gun but in no way is he responsible.
It is called survivor's guilt... he feels if he did not have that gun his father would still be here. That is so not true and he really needs to talk to a professional about this because it can eat him up alive, plus it puts extra stress on you that you do not need. We all want do-overs when it comes to tragic deaths....all the what if's will drive you crazy. I know I did it and trust me it did not help, it just made me realize that no matter what I or you could have said or done that would have changed the out-come... He needs to try to understand that we as people are all responsible for our own actions, he in no way "your son" did anything to make his dad take his own life, please just keep re-affirming to him that he is not responsible.
No one can handle that kind of pressure. I am just so praying for both of you that you come out of this whole situation with stregth, health, and healing....bless you...
1984 Tubligation 1992 Diagnosed with Thyroid tumor
1993 Gallbladder Removed 1997 Hysterectomy 1998 Carpol Tunnel
1999 Spinal Cord Surgery for a Anacroid Syst
2001 Lower Lumbar Fusion L4-5
2003 Sigmoid Colon
2008 RE-did the Lower Lumbar Fusion/ lamanoctomy
2010 DX: colonic Inertia/ Pelvic Floor Disorder
2010 Total Colectomy ABD W/O proctectomy; w/Ileosto