Scared to Death

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MACGIRL
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/19/2010 8:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I am having colon removed Nov. 1. First of 3 surgeries.

My mother-in-law called me at work today and said she was just thinking about me and how I needed to get everything prepared before surgery. I just started freaking out and crying. I have so much to do at work and home and I am scared about being cut open. It is terrifying. I know I will feel better in the long run but I worry alot about complications, death etc. Feel overwhelmed but I know this is what needs to be done. I just am afraid this next week is gonna be really rough.

sno92c
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 10/19/2010 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I totally understand your fear I just had my colon and rectum removed in June and I felt the same way. I just knew I needed to get it over with because I was sick of Crohn's running my life. Its is scary and the surgery sucks but trust me you will feel so much better. I feel like a million buck compared to just a few months ago. Death is super rear so please don't fear that and with all the pain meds you will be on u won't even feel much if any pain at all. I kept myself very comfortable on pain meds after my surgery because I refused to suffer anymore. Trust me you will be fine and feel better in no time. Being scared and anxious is normal but you will be much happier after the fact. Good Luck!!

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/19/2010 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
its very normal to be scared, and it's ok! Just remember WHY you are doing it, and that will help you through
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007!
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-
No matter what kind of day you are having, take five minutes to sing loudly and dance like a fool!

killcolitis
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2396
   Posted 10/20/2010 4:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Well that just seems like a typical mother in law thing to do (sorry, I don't know about yours but I could see mine calling me at work to tell me she was "thinking of me" and then come out with something like that). In my mind (and we are thinking of surgery for our child) risk of death is probably higher in the long run if you don't have surgery and have refractory colitis (toxic mega colon, cancer etc). Not to mention the quality of life issues. I'm sure you'll be here soon after surgery telling us how good you feel.

Scrap Girl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 653
   Posted 10/20/2010 6:29 AM (GMT -6)   
MacGirl, I think everyone gets nervous going into surgery. I had a couple of c-sections before mine so that gave me an idea of what I was in for. I'm not sure I understand what your MIL meant by telling you that you need to get things prepared?? Kind of bizarre. Just remember, that most of the people who get the j-pouch are happy with it. I think it's human nature to think that the worst might happen to us. When they are prepping you for surgery they can give you something if you are having major anxiety issues. As for the next week, it sounds like you will be so busy the week will actually go by very fast - that's actually a good thing. 

suebear
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5698
   Posted 10/20/2010 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, we have all felt fear as we drew closer to our surgery date and it doesn't help to have people say stupid things. My mom, yes my own mom, told me that I probably didn't really have a sick colon but that my problems were due to drinking diet coke. Mind you, I drink about 2 diet cokes per year! My brother, the day before surgery said I should re-think this because wasn't it possible that I had celiac disease instead? It was very difficult to proceed knowing that the people closest to me were not behind my decision. But I moved forward because I knew that it had to be done. BTW-they all apologized after the fact after seeing how good I looked once the colon was gone. UC robs us so very slowly that those around us can't really see how bad off we are. It's only when the colon is removed and the old self returns that it becomes obvious.

Try not to stress and try to distance yourself from those that aren't supporting your decision.

Sue

Caro1014
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/20/2010 2:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh absolutely it's very terrifying in the lead up. And it doesn't help when people are ringing you up at work(!) saying things like that to you. But don't mind them, just focus on you and all the things that you are going to do post-surgery. This is a stepping stone to bigger and better things.

You're hauling around a part of your body that is holding you back in every way and destroying your quality of life. The few days after the surgery, even though I was tired and dealing with everything that happens post surgery, I just felt a huge sense of relief that the colon was gone.

Best of luck to you with your surgery.

Allison77
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 421
   Posted 10/22/2010 4:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I relied on lots of support from ALL my friends and family. My friends even threw me a "colon removal" party that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. As scary as it is, know that you are not alone and there are ostomates ALL over the world.

-Allie
RX Crohn's 1999, over 30 surgeries, 3 strokes, permanent colostomy and rectum removal.
 
"The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new."

Christine1946
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 5965
   Posted 10/24/2010 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   
     I was 63 yrs old when I had the surgery (64 now) on June 28th.  NO ONE was more scared than I to have surgery.  Suebear can attest to that...lol.  I was actually making excuses as to why I shouldn't have the surgery.  However, suffering with UC for the last twelve years, the last two being prednisone dependent, I figured I wouldn't last much longer.  Prednisone threw me into type II diabetes and I was on three blood pressure meds along with a LOT of other meds for the UC, not to mention the rectal ones too..ugh.  My daughter and husband both convinced me to have the surgery.  I sought out my colorectal surgeon online because my GI doctor said he didn't "know of" a good colorectal surgeon...a bunch of BS, but it was the best decision I could have made.
      I had a few hurdles to get over but I have my life back!  I have a permanent ileo but it isn't bad at all.
     Make sure you have a good colorectal surgeon who has plenty of experience and you will be just fine.  I won't tell you not to worry because it is only natural, we all worry...but keep the faith girl!!!
     Oh...by the way...I take NO meds at all now...not one pill!!   My blood pressure is normal and so is my blood glucose.  Isn't that great?  That in itself is worth the surgery.

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/24/2010 9:38 PM (GMT -6)   
making crazy excuses is normal too! i almost canceled because i was afraid i couldnt do cartwheels anymore, that's just dumb! It's just fear coming out however it can.
Make a list of pros and cons, and keep it with you, or make a list of all the things you will be able to do after surgery you can't do now. that helped me alot, thinking, i can wake up and have juice! i can stop and get something at mcdonalds in the car! just the little things, that really helped.
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007!
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-
No matter what kind of day you are having, take five minutes to sing loudly and dance like a fool!

MACGIRL
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/27/2010 5:23 PM (GMT -6)   
5 more days. I have gone into crying and anxiety attacks but then I get better. Just want to feel better.

Christine1946
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 5965
   Posted 10/27/2010 6:52 PM (GMT -6)   
     You'll be fine.  Just don't expect too much too soon, take one day at a time. I'll keep praying for you!!! smilewinkgrin

mandynet2001
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/28/2010 11:45 AM (GMT -6)   
MACgirl - You will be fine. I had my Colon removed July 14, 2010. A week later, I have horrible infection and my wound opened 5 inch long and 6cm deep. I was in tears for weeks but it was totally worth. I had my reversal 4 weeks ago. Now, I feel amazing. Just remember - take one day at a time!

Hischildvalda
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 10/30/2010 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Please remember the reasons you are having the surgery, Macgirl. Write a list if you need to but focus on the other side of the surgery, how your quality of life will improve. I had my colon removed July 28th this year, spent four nights in the hospital and was back at work in less than two weeks so there are very positive outcomes to surgery. Praying for you.

Val
Lifetime Chronic Constipation
1999 - Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse
2001 - Total Hysterectomy
2008 - Diagnosed with IBS-C
July 28, 2010 - Subtotal Colectomy

Caro1014
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/30/2010 5:03 PM (GMT -6)   
In the weeks leading up to my surgery, I virtually retreated into myself trying to cope with the idea of such a surgery. After the surgery, I cried every day for month. All of that is completely normal. It's how we process what's happening to us. Six weeks after my surgery, I was in the car with my mother going on a cross country trip (I live in Ireland so a cross country road trip isn't quite the adventure it might be to those of you Stateside!) to stay with relatives for St Patrick's weekend. Before the surgery, the thought of going anywhere in the car would make me break out into cold sweats and panic attacks for fear of bathroom emergencies.

Think of all the things you want to do and can't. You will be doing them in the months after your surgery because taking out that bad boy colon is going to give you the chance at real quality of life. It's a stepping stone to better things. And that's not hyperbole, that's fact!

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 10/31/2010 6:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I was one of the lucky ones where I didn't really have time to think about it since mine was done in an emergency situation but kind of knew it was coming too. I had my surgery at 2pm in the afternoon and didn't finish until 8pm that night so 6 hours worth of surgery and I woke at 7am wanting to get up and have a shower, I felt fantastic, of course I was sore but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I also went through the emotional episodes and still do from time to time but that surgery has been the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me my life back and quality of life. Good luck with it although I'm sure you will be fine. When your feeling up to it we would love to hear from you and how your going. take care and will be sending positive thoughts your way.
Doreen

MACGIRL
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/31/2010 10:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm about to head to Memphis for surgery. UT here I come. If they're good enough for Steve Jobs I guess they're good enough for me. LOL. I am amazingly calm right now. Surgery is a 7:30 in the morning. I'm sure I will be freaking out this afternoon. Keep me in your prayers.

Tina

Scrap Girl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 653
   Posted 10/31/2010 10:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Good luck Tina. You will do great.

Christine1946
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 5965
   Posted 10/31/2010 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
     Sure will keep you in my prayers.  Think positive!!!  You'll be fine!
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