PLease to the gentlemen in the room, women, please avert your eyes as I wouldn't want to offend.

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schrek-chewbacca hunk
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Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2666
   Posted 10/25/2010 11:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Men,
I hope all is well.  I am having a slight but uncomfortable problem with my pouch.  Perhaps my stoma is a bit low, but when I apply the bag and wear it on the flange, I type of bag (I use a velcro seal type end as the clamp was worse).  At a minimum, the bottom sticks into my penis and as I move - it is rather uncomfortable to painful.  But it also punching sort into my testicles and that really hurts - when I sit especially.  I find myself adjusting upward which means I have to empty a bit more often as it seems to fold up, and therefore not having the opportunity to fill the bottom, and waste collection gathers at the top (bad for the barrier ring at least for me).  I am not bragging at all, I wish I were smaller, but God granted me well in that department if you know what I mean.  Sorry for being overt, I am usually not.
Am I short waisted or do other men have this issue.  I have a friend who is an episcopal minister who is like a brother to me.  He saw my situation (very embassing even with other men) and he says there are very long, but not long underwear, ones that go from the waist to about mid thigh that seem to be in vogue with young men.
I really am sort of cranky about this, as it is nothing compared to the agony of people with disease, or the surgery, but this bugs me all day.  Any help from you men would help.  Also, do any of you shave your pubic hair, as I find it easier and cleaner in changes, as I also wear a sure seal.  Pulling them off is even more painful.
I hope women have not seen this as I have not even told my wife, as she would worry constantly, and possibly be offended.  I try to not whine and even fake that this doesn't bother my body image.  I think she believes me, and her mother is still trying to get her to divorce me becasue she ssays people can smell me - my wife says not at all, even made me new clothes that help with where my stoma is and has added a bit of material right there on each side - she is an incredible dresmaker and makes virtually all our own clothes - really good designer type stuff with great material.   I am blessed, but I can't and won't talk to her about this.  I also don't want to add fuel to her mother's fire, as I said she tells her every week to divorce me.  She says I smell in church, and I shouldn't go to a restaurant as it would be off putting...when she comes - she bring a bottle of febreeze and sprays the house, complaining about me.  She said I am worse than an untrained baby or dog in the house, and she tells me to stay in my room when she is here.  do any other men have in law problems.
bob  -  thanks for any response.  

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 610
   Posted 10/26/2010 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
There are boxer briefs, which are snug-fitting boxer-length underwear.  Friends like them because they keep everything in one place. 
Harsh as it might seem, a mother-in-law who actively undermined my marriage at every turn just wouldn't be allowed in the house.  My partner wouldn't tolerate it, either. 

schrek-chewbacca hunk
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2666
   Posted 10/26/2010 8:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I guess there are more women in the room than men?  hehehe  bt thank you for the response

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Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 10/26/2010 11:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and sorry I LOOKED...I do admit I am a woman.  That is so cool that you were already comfortable with us on here to be so frank about such a private part and the issues that your having.
This is exactly the forum to come to with anything on your mind and we all have unbelieveable empathy for one another, its just a cool place to be apart of.
AS for the her ass off...she sounds like a rude, ignorant woman if you ask me.  This is your life and she needs to keep her nose...literally...out of it.  FYI   we all have gas, and ya hey, sometimes its just really bad, but hey that's life.  Tell her for me that if she thinks you stink send her to my house, cuz the fan in my bathroom quit working and have to wait to get a new one...YA, SEND HER HERE.....
SOMEONE SAID.....OMG, IS THERE DOG crap IN HERE,  WHAT IS THAT SMELL...?  Do you have any idea how long I stayed in there waiting to come out because I was so embarrassed...  My dauther said where in the heck were you mom?  I told her and she just grabbed me and started crying because I had to experience that.  Hey we were camping and I didnt know anyone else so it did not bother me...just had to wait.
So ya send your Mother in law here I will fix her right up..
Take care

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1595
   Posted 10/27/2010 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Do you wear your pouch inside or outside your underwear?


schrek-chewbacca hunk
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2666
   Posted 10/27/2010 9:36 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to wear it underneath, there would be not other way based on where my stoma is, if I did, it would pull the bag off.
bob   tahnks sir

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 269
   Posted 11/4/2010 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Alright, just like honestwoman50, I am a woman and I apologize for looking! But I think I have a suggestion to help! I found out from an ostomy nurse that there is specially made ostomy underwear for both women and men ostomates. They are high-waisted to completely cover your bag AND they have a pouch inside the underwear where you actually stick the pouch in. The bag never touches your skin and the underwear offers a modicum of support to the bag. There's several different websites that sell them, but a specific one is It should provide you with lots more information! Hope this helps! :)

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/6/2010 11:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry I'm a woman and I read your article too. My husband recently developed Enterocutaneous fistula on his lower abdominal area. He wear a smaller pouch that it doesn't bother him. He has decubidus ulcer and and his leg is temporarily immoble. I just wanted to say that your mother in law is out of her mind. Once you love someone, we don't leave him or her due to their physical disfigure. I have been taking care of his wounds since last year and he needs lot's of help as he cannot get up or walk by himself YET. God has done Miracles in his life sine last year. He has gone through so many other medical issues but he has overcome! He maxed out his insurance and now on Medicaid and his drainage bags aren't covered as we used to use Urine Drainage bag. Well, I came up with an idea to use large Ziplock! Yes, you heard it right. It has been working perfectly. If anyone is struggling with ordering with drainage bags, let me know. I can send you a picture of my creation! I am glad to find this site because I don't know anyone who has ostomy or Enterocutaneous fistula. This is encouraging. No one understands our struggle or frustrations unless you're in the situation.
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