Thanksgiving Family coming over

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David Martin
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 10/30/2010 5:56 PM (GMT -6)   
So since my moms mom passed away a year or so ago my mom is trying to keep everybody together. Soo... she invited 22 people to come and stay at our house for thanksgiving.. 7-12 days they'll stay.
 
The thing is my aunt is one of thoughs people who have something against Ostomie bags. She didnt even know what it was until i got my surgery done. She "my aunt" really wont let me stay in the same room. she thinks she has power over me since im only 16 and tells me what to do and doesnt like me to be in the kitchen when they cook at my house. The thing is i always cooked with my dad and she says i wont be cooking because "what if the bag rips open and gets on the food" and possibly someone can get sick? she doesnt know anything really. 3 of my cusions are the same way. "one of them sent me to the hospital before, he got alot of dirt in my eye and i couldnt wash it out"
 
so this is just gonna be another one of the holidays where i have to stay in my room because they'll yell at me. Maybe they want me to feel different? im not any different then them if anything im better then them because i dont treat people like crap if they have some type of medical condition.
 
Im just not wanting to take their crap anymore im 16 not 6.
Would it be mean to tell them to shut up when they really get under my skin?

Collicat
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 827
   Posted 10/30/2010 8:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh David. Again...people that I truly cannot understand.... I am so sick over what has happened to Bob today. I know it is so hard to do but you have to completely ignore these idiots and somehow just feel sorry for them that they are so stupid and uneducated. I would think the last place you want to be is in the same room with your aunt, so find something else to do and make the most of the day. I am sure that your parents will be behind you.

I wish you lived closer and could get to know my son Dillon. You are such a mature and great guy.

Cathy

David Martin
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 10/30/2010 10:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks. And as for Bob all we can really do is pray and hope he's alright.
Adam, 16. Birthday Sept. 30.

Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis a little over four years ago. I no longer have UC. I had surgery may 25. Final surgery is to be around the day before or after thanksgiving.

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/30/2010 10:44 PM (GMT -6)   
does your dad know she acts like this?
and you know, normally i'm all about respecting your elders and such, but i think in this case i'd just tell her off. Although, do it in a nice way, where you look good and she looks like the idiot she obviously is!
and hey, if nothing else, open that bag up in her bed :D

Collicat
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 827
   Posted 10/30/2010 10:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Summerstorm...even after this crappy day you still make me laugh...bless you!

David Martin
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 10/30/2010 11:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Lol yeah.
Adam, 16. Birthday Sept. 30.

Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis a little over four years ago. I no longer have UC. I had surgery may 25. Final surgery is to be around the day before or after thanksgiving.

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 10/31/2010 6:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I can't believe the ignorance of some people. It saddens me so much to hear people are so nasty about this. I am so lucky with my family and friends they all treat me the same as they always have with the utmost respect and if anything I'm the paranoid one thinking I smell when actually I don't and they have all said they would tell me if I ever did but they all said in the 18 months I have been an ostomate they said I have never had a bad odour at all. Have you spoken with your parents about this? Perhaps you need to discuss this with them before the family gets together and hopefully they will be the ones to step up and give them what for. You don't deserve to be treated that way. I hope you get to enjoy your holiday
Take care
Doreen

80sChick
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1054
   Posted 10/31/2010 10:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Honestly, I think you NEED to tell your parents before she comes. I would hope they would say something to her. That is something I would absolutely not tolerate. She obviously has NO idea what you've been through and what this ostomy means for you. What an awful woman. If they don't say something to her, you need to. Maybe even do some reasearch supporting the fact that AN OSTOMY IS PERFECTLY HYGENIC, and give it to her. There is no reason she should make you feel like an outsider in your own home. God, I hope that woman has some karma coming her way.
Stephanie, 28 years old
Diagnosed with Crohn's Colitis March 2000
Possible diagnosis of IBS-D
Total Proctocolectomy and Permanent Ileostomy 3/18/10! :)
Blockage/Ileo revision 6/8/10 :/
 
Tried: Asacol, Remicade, 6mp, Humira, Xifaxan, Apriso, Imuran, Rowasa Enemas, Colocort Enemas, Psyllium Seed Powder... Tried Probiotics: Align (with no change except bloating) and VSL #3 DS (AWFUL diarrhea).
 
Currently taking: Prenatal Vitamin, Vitamin B 12 Complex, Biotin, Vitamin D, Calcium, Flomax (for urinary retention). 

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 10/31/2010 10:46 AM (GMT -6)   
you know, i started wondering what kind of cooking does she think you do that one, if the bag did rip open it would get out of your clothes and fly onto the food? does she think you cook naked? and even if you did, (which don't) the food wouldnt be below your waistline, when i cook, and im short, my food is always above my stomach and my stoma, so if it did rip open, unless i was cooking with the food at knee level or gravity ceased to work the poop would go down, and not up to where i was even cooking.
Just one more bit of evidence to her stupidty.
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007!
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-
No matter what kind of day you are having, take five minutes to sing loudly and dance like a fool!

2much2bear
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 11/1/2010 6:03 AM (GMT -6)   
hey david you really must stick up for yourself - yeah you are NOT a kid - gosh you are a young man for goodness sake  - this has maddened me - is she your actual aunt i.e. your mum's sister?  Ditto to what everyone has said - you need your mum on your side here and let her know all of this.
 
and it is your house!!! - just DO WHAT YOU WANT i say - dont take any of her nonsense - i know it is hard cause you feel young and all and lacking in authority but just say 'oh i am sorry you feel like that' and you know what? humour wins in situations like this - you could try laughing it off with a humourous comment  - but dont pander to her (even though it is not funny at all)  and just go about doing your busines in your house - the b*tch. (sorry).  Gosh a lot of ppl dont even KNOW about ostomy bags - i didnt!!
Karen 48 years old
1997: Diagnosed IBS
2003: Pelvic Floor repair
2006: STARR surgery for mucosal prolapse/Obstruction/diagnosed slow transit constipation
2007: Sigmoid resection-partial volvulus resulting in worsening of colonic inertia (cleared obstruction though)
March 2009: Loop Ileostomy
23 Sept 2010: Ileostomy reversal

katiesmommy1
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 11/1/2010 2:12 PM (GMT -6)   
I cannot believe there are so many people out there who think it's OK to treat others so badly. I'm a mother of a 4 year old who had her surgery last November. I cannot for one second imagine anyone treating my daughter so poorly. Do your parents know how she treats you and how it is affecting you. Maybe they don't realize how it makes you feel. I'm all about respecting your elders too..but your aunt is definitely crossing the line. You have every right to put her in her place, first I would have a talk with your parents though. I would not welcome anyone in my home that did not treat my child with respect. You need to let everyone know exactly how your family is making you feel. Do not keep that inside and please do not hide in your room b/c of those ignorant people. You have every right to enjoy a wonderful holiday with your family.
I feel so bad for you David. I really do hope everything works out for you, you sound like a very mature and intelligent person. You don't deserve to be treated like that.

David Martin
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 11/1/2010 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Even before the surgery some people on my mom's side of the family treated me kinda well they acted like jerks. But I think its because they grew up being treated like crap i guess. My mom though isnt like them thank goodness. My mom knows they can be a pain sometimes but since they have "issues" in life I have to behave kinda. Most of the time when i visit them I just get out of the house its always a mess everywhere and i cant really sit anywhere but yeah.

Im planning to give her a surprise when she comes over just to get back at her. :D its nothing that will harm her well unless i eat something like fish before i do it :D but even at that it will only smell uber bad lol.
Adam, 16. Birthday Sept. 30.

Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis between 05-06. I have UC but its under control. I had surgery may 25 to remove my colon. 2nd surgery Aug. 31 surgery to reconnect to J-pouch. 3rd is dued to be dec. 7

summerstorm
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 11/1/2010 9:53 PM (GMT -6)   
ha ha david!!!
But i agree with katiesmommy, there is no way i would let someone in my home who was hurting my child if i knew about it. I don't care who it was or their circumstances. I know you are only 16, but you are old enough that you have the ability to stand up for yourself and to tell them, hey look i'm important and i matter, and you are being a b&*(^ only not with that word.
Like is aid, you gotta give an insult where people don't know they are getting an insult, that way you don't look bad but they get the point.
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007!
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-
No matter what kind of day you are having, take five minutes to sing loudly and dance like a fool!

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 11/2/2010 7:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Theres no way I would let a b!@#h like that in my home either. No one would ever dare treat my daughters like that, not that they need me to defend them anymore since they are all adults but when they were younger and even now in their 20s they are the loves of my life and if anyone hurts them they hurt me too and I won't stand for it, and you shouldn't either David. Hang in there and don't put up with crap from anyone

polishdan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1595
   Posted 11/3/2010 8:10 PM (GMT -6)   
David
Maybe you could print this thread and give it to her and anybody else that needs it. If she would read it at least it would keep her busy for a while. Stand up for yourself. Tell her you are a young adult and DEMAND her respect. Don't let her push you around, push back. Remember, we are your friends here and expect a report on how the day went. It's up to you now.

Dan
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