it's not giving up!

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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 11/19/2010 12:27 AM (GMT -6)   
i wish there was someone to get people to stop thinking of surgery as giving up!  i see that in posts all the time, and it bothers me, because i think it makes it sound like those of us who choose surgery were just too weak to fight the disease.  Or not strong enough to deal with the problems and the meds and the side effects.  And i don't think that's true.  i think it takes a lot of bravery, and a very strong person to take that huge step.  to totally beat the disease!  to literally take the colon that doesn't want you, to the trash!  show it who's boss! i understand that surgery isn't for everyone, and i don't look down on people who choose not to do it, i just think that calling it "giving up" might put people off because they feel like surgery makes them weak, and that might be the only reason they continue suffering with UC or Crohns or whatever their problem may be.
just my mini rant

2b ColonFree
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2603
   Posted 11/19/2010 2:42 AM (GMT -6)   
i chose surgery not b/c i was too weak to deal with my problem, but b/c i was strong enough to finally put an end to it, and it did - thanks to the colectomy + ileostomy today i'm feeling a whole LOT better, better than i've felt in 17 yrs and i wouldn't go back, not even for a million bucks!!

more over, if someone had came to me before my surgery and told me he would give me million bucks if i dont go for surgery, i would have told him to keep it and would go for surgery!! surgery gave me my life back!!

so i'm totally with you on this, summer!
06/05/2007 - STARR procedure
colonic inertia w/pelvic floor dysfunction
08/16/2009 - total colectomy w/ileorectal anastomosis
07/08/2010 - loop ileostomy

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 11/19/2010 5:10 AM (GMT -6)   
I had no choice as the disease was gonna take me in the end. But I agree it takes a strong person to make the decision to go forward and get rid of the nasty disease that was controlling our lives. I am definately much better for it too but still have my health issues, but its nothing compared to how I was before my ileostomy.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1251
   Posted 11/19/2010 5:52 AM (GMT -6)   
I have to admit, it frustrates me too Summer. It's NOT giving up - it's saying 'I'm going to take charge of my life and move on and be so much more healthier instead of having my colon dictate what I can and can't eat or do for the rest of my life'.

I see people trying so many different things in an attempt to control their out of control UC and I feel so sorry for them. I understand it is a big step, but it is WORTH IT!
Ileostomy for 34 years due to UC. I had my surgery at 10 years of age.

Moderator of the Ostomy and Psoriasis Forums


I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!

Equestrian Mom
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3115
   Posted 11/19/2010 7:11 AM (GMT -6)   
It does take a strong person to go through the surgery (or surgeries) but it's a person who understands how important quality of life is. I am not cured since I have Crohn's but wouldn't change a thing! I look at it as I would have given up if I tried to keep battling my disease with medication that wasn't working:(
Crohn’s dx 1989
some terrible years before my
temporary ileo in 2001
Proctocolectomy w/end ileo in 2008
...wish I knew then what I know NOW!

Post Edited (OHIO76) : 11/19/2010 5:14:48 AM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1325
   Posted 11/19/2010 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
The years of constipation, bloating, unable to eat more than a small child and then getting called anorexic, hours of sitting on the toilet, children with no mother because she was in the restroom hours everyday, taking laxatives, using suppositories, then taking more laxatives because the toxic amount already taken did not work, no vacations because mom was sick, no life!


and got my ileostomy. I wish I would have done it years ago.

So, Summer, don't be offended when others think we "gave up". I also thought I was giving up. Little did I know that my giving up gave me a new lease on life. And I am very sad that I can't get those wasted years back, but I am trying to make up for it.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 194
   Posted 11/19/2010 5:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone, I am having a temporary loop ileostomy on Tues., Nov. 23rd. I am scared half to death but I have to do something! I have been living with a Subtotal Colectomy (small intestine hooked to 2" of colon) and up until about 1 month ago (so for a long time) I had chronic diarrhea, weakness and lost 30 pounds. All of a sudden I am back more to constipation and pain, can't sleep, can't eat, etc.. My surgeon says he really doesn't know if an Ileostomy will help but other than the rectal functioning tests (which I chose not to have; too "tested out" I guess) there really isn't anything else he can try. I sure hope I get the good results that Hodaya and others have had! My surgeon says I will only be in the hospital 2-3 days?! That seems impossible. Maybe because my colon has already been taken out though just pulling a loop out and making a stoma is an easy thing. Also he never told me if it if customary to have a Stoma Nurse come and visit a person at their home after the surgery and now my surgeon is gone; I won't see him until the morning of surgery! He is supposed to be a great surgeon but he always acted like I was making a "big deal" out of nothing . . . . He said a temporary loop ileostomy is a very simple procedure! He didn't even tell me about incisions other than to say it is just a simple laporoscopic procedure. He doesn't have the best "bedside manner" but now that the surgery is scheduled, I think I just want to go forward with it!

Comments? Anyway live in San Diego and want to come and visit me after the surgery? I am so scared and I basically have to do this all alone (no family involved).


Has anyone heard anything about Lizzie or Allie? Is Allie still going to have an Ileostomy?


Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 206
   Posted 11/19/2010 5:50 PM (GMT -6)   
summer - When one is ready about getting surgery they will get it :)

Gilda I'm so sorry you have no family to be with you. I hope that you have some wonderful friends that will be able to help you. I know that I was very bless to have both help me.

Are you getting the temporary loop because of the diarrhea or the constipation or another reason?
Diagnoses: Colonic Inertia, Rectocele, Anismus
Surgery: November 9, 2010 - subtotal colectomy with anastomosis

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 5975
   Posted 11/19/2010 6:08 PM (GMT -6)   
     No one accused me of "giving up" except my GI doctor took it personally that I decided on the surgery.  His exact words to me when I told him of my decision..."Chris, I feel I have failed you."  He was so upset about it that when his associate arrived at the office, he told him.."good, I am glad you are here because I have to get out of the office!"  His associate and I just stared at each  What a jerk!  He treated me for twelve years and you all know I ran the gamut of meds...6MP, Remicade, Humira.  I was prednisone dependent.  There comes a time when enough is enough and we all know when we reach that limit.
     I still have issues but I do have my life back and that is the most important thing.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 11/19/2010 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   
i understand that giving up thought, but for me i thought of surgery as giving up on the medicine because it wasn't working not because i couldn't hack the side effects. I was starting to consider surgery as my only alternative when i had to have my surgery as an emergency. I think it's that "only alternative" idea that makes people think its giving up. no one really wants to have surgery, even when they know its better for them to have it. its scary. we all want the meds to work and not have side effects too, but it just doesn't work out that way for so many people. I understand now that surgery is really just "another" alternative and not the last resort or "only" option.
-diagnosed with UC Dec 2006 at 22
-allergic or intolerant to all 5ASAs, sulfa and 6-mp
-emergency transverse colostomy on 9/13/10 from perforated colon
-Now IBD is indeterminate tests will be done after healing if still UC J-pouch surgery, if Chron's take down of colostomy

2b ColonFree
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2603
   Posted 11/20/2010 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Gilda, i wish you all the best with your surgery! i hope you like your stoma as i like mine. things are not always perfect for me, i do still have my issues and aches, but it's nothing compared to the way it was. so you must take into consideration that things may not always be perfect, but better, much better.
best of luck to you, sweetie!

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 421
   Posted 11/21/2010 11:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Good luck Gilda!! Tuesday Nov. 23 will mark my 1 year anniversary with Oscar. It's a good day for surgery! *grin*

RX Crohn's 1999, over 30 surgeries, 3 strokes, permanent colostomy and rectum removal.
"The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 11/22/2010 2:44 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Ron. Surgery is not giving up... it's a cure for those of you with UC! As a Crohnie, I've been disease-free since surgery, which was 4 years ago, so it has been the closest thing to a cure for me, too! :-)

Gilda, You're in my thoughts and prayers for a successful surgery on Tuesday. We're all here for you, even if we can't be there in person!
Allie, Congratulations and Happy 1st Anniversary to you and Oscar!!! yeah

Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free and medicine-free since surgery and very thankful to be healthy again.

Another UC wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 2111
   Posted 1/7/2011 11:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree....even though hubby has said various things when he finally made up his"I Give Up" "I can't take it any longer" "It's time" "I'm sick of living this way" I never felt, he never felt, and his local GI and GI at Mayo clinic were all so supportive that he wasn't really giving up per se...just giving up the pain, the meds, the inconveniences of living with UC.

When he accepted and embraced the decision such a weight was lifted........he was even singing since his surgery and hospital stay was over Christmas "All I Want For Christmas is My New Boo-tee, My New

Humor has helped us so much - definitely sometimes it is the best medicine!
64 yr old male --suffered with UC & in May 06 severe flare & hospitalized 6 days...various prednisone treatments leading to steroid dependence and osteopenia, 12 asacol, 200 mg Imuran, failed remicade infusions Jan-May 2010 Dependence on pain meds. Made decision in 6/10 to have surgery which was on 12/17/10 and no longer in pain.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 827
   Posted 1/7/2011 11:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to say I have never been as proud of my son as the day he said that HE had decided to take charge and wanted to get his life back and was brave enough to face the surgeries. I don't know where the courage came from and in no way was he giving up but just the opposite...he had decided to fight the battle head on.
Mom to Dillon (age 19) who had three major UC flares over two years....Very sick. Colectomy Sept/09, J pouch built Jan/10 and take down Feb/10. Now out living life at University and doing great. NO MEDS

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 1/8/2011 12:56 PM (GMT -6)   
a new bootie!!! thats hilarious, i literally laughed out loud!
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007!
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-
No matter what kind of day you are having, take five minutes to sing loudly and dance like a fool!

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 1/8/2011 8:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I want to tell you all who have been plauged with chonic disease, anyone who tells you surgery is giving up is an idiot. I have a temporary ileostomy to allow a fistula heal and I hate it. I'm sure I would have a totally different attitude if I had arrived here because I had spent my life ill. Quality of life is so important. I am so hopeful when this is over for me I will no longer spend every day in pain. My fistula broke through my perinum at at it's worst, it hurt just to walk. I lived like that for about 6 months before my first surgery. Then I was in pain from surgery.... then had surgery #2... then pain from surgery..... now surgery #3. I only hurt a little bit now in my groin and leg (they took muscle from there to graft into my groin). After my reversal hopefully that will be the end of it. That would be about 3 years of my life. I can't imagine what those of you who have UC or Chrohns have gone through and for how many years. I had to fight so hard to get to the right dr and get the right treatment to end my pain. I was misdiagnosed for quite a while. With today's technology there is absolutly no reason to suffer if you don't have to.
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