Please tell me I'm not alone...

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Liza D
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 166
   Posted 12/7/2010 4:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been going through a lot lately. Very depressed; abdominal pain, cramping, constipation, hemorrhoids, little sleep at night, exhausted during the day...

I was working full time but just couldn't keep up with the hours. Thankfully my work is letting me figure everything out and work the hours I want or can do. I had my reversal a year ago and had one more surgery when they found a leak about nine months ago. I am always uncomfortable. I have so much pain and really get depressed when I have a 'bad' day.

Anyway, so I've been going to therapy and one doctor said I should go to an intense program where you go like three times a week for a couple hours... When I went to get info on that program, they said they don't think its for me... my depression comes from my medical condition... I AM SO LOST!

I know I am not the only one to get down after these surgeries... right? Why are there not physical support groups everywhere?

Does anyone else still have painful movements? The hemorrhoids haven't gotten any better despite creams, wipes and diet changes... One day I'll eat rice and beans and I'm fine, the next time I do, I'm up all night! What's the deal?
UC (Pancolitis... 90%!) December 2001
Arthritis (2003)
Upper GI Ulcer (2006)
Osteopenia (2008)
Depression/Anxiety (2002)
J-Pouch May 2009/ Reversal November 2009/ Fistula correction March 2010

Check out my blog:

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 430
   Posted 12/9/2010 4:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Liza: I would go for a consultation at a teaching hospital - like Mayo, or U of Chicago - I don't know where you live but even if you have to fly somewhere it will be worth it. You should have a better quality of life after surgery than what it sounds like you're having.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 12/12/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Liza D
  So sorry to read about you having problems. I too have taken a bad turn myself.  I too get depressed as I figured this surgery would give me my life back.  Two weeks ago I was saying how good I felt and that I have not been in the hospital since Oct so I thought I was going to be all good and get back to life...then I could not go pooo and that just does not happen so I waited 3 days and nothing even with a fleet enema.  So I go to the ER and they did a CT and where they made my J-Pouch both connections had narrowed to pencil size so took me right into surgery and he dilated both back up to a quarter size, and told me I have 2 ulcers in my pouch and scar tissue.
Bad thing is that the dilation will not last so in January I see the doc for a visit, and the next week he is going to scope me and tell me if he can do the balloon catheter on both ends to keep it open.
Sometimes I feel like WHAT'S NEXT?????  But I am going to try and be positive because if for some reason that is not a option then consideration of a ostomy will probably be presented to me.  I hope not I want to keep my parts the way they are.  So Lizzy I am praying for you and for all the others.  Please try to keep positive, don't let the depression take you away...  MY cousin just killed himself on Dec 1 and it was due to my girl your valuable, and loved, just no that this is all temporary, at least we hope. 
People who take their own lives get a permanent solution to a temporary I don't want your depression to go in that you

Liza D
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 166
   Posted 12/13/2010 10:01 AM (GMT -6)   

Thank you so much for taking the time to write me. I always feel alone and hardly get support anymore from this site even. I'm sorry to hear about your family and about your problems. I really hope they can figure out a solution that you are comfortable with. I really feel like "What's next? What could possibly go wrong now?"

I know I have a supportive family and work place. I know life is worth living no matter how hard it gets. But sometimes I just want to stay in the bed and not move. Keeping up with my medical issues seems like a full time job!

And when I try to go to therapy, they say I am really depressed because of the medical issues and psychologically, I might be the healthiest person in group! Oi! I'm over it! You know! I am just going to listen to my body and do whatever I feel...

Thank you again for making me feel like there is someone out there that feels the same way. I'm getting a scope tomorrow and hope to find out what the deal is with the pain...


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 12/13/2010 1:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi i am sorry about your plight.
I am not sure about your story, but have you considered going back to an ileostomy? (that is if you had one in the first place?) That is the last resort when everything else fails e.g. you have your bowel removed but you still have ongoing problems like constipation etc.  just a thought?  i konw i felt a lot better with a bag.
take care.
Karen 48 years old
1997: Diagnosed IBS
2003: Pelvic Floor repair
2006: STARR surgery for mucosal prolapse/Obstruction/diagnosed slow transit constipation
2007: Sigmoid resection-partial volvulus resulting in worsening of colonic inertia (cleared obstruction though)
March 2009: Total colectomy with ileorectal join and loop ileostomy
23 Sept 2010: Ileostomy reversal

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 12/13/2010 3:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Liza  Well hun keep us up-dated on your condition.  I guess we all kind of know that feeling of what's next..keep your chin up my dear...lots of love..
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