Day by day is the right way to go about
it...don't rush anything. We are so happy for you and pray your recovery continues to go very smoothly for you.
It's been a little over a month for hubby and so far things are going very well. We got the hang of this pouch and adjusting to everything quite well. I mentioned before the j-pouch was not to be for him due to his anatomy and complications once the surgeon was in there. At 64 it takes on a totally different perspective. To have survived a 7 1/2 hr complicated surgery to begin with and now be out of pain and have a life back is a gift in of itself. If he was young like yourself he definitely would have wanted the opportunity for many reasons to have everything working internally versus externally if he could.
Fortunately if one is left with a permanent ileostomy, it isn't rocket science, it isn't the end of the world, just gotta wrap your head around it and accept it and look at the amazing opportunity to now be pain free and rid of all the anxiety with the uncontrolled frequency and urgency. There is a definite learning curve but so far it seems to be working ok for him with no issues. If there are any issues HealingWell and another site I frequent has tons of answers.
Again...congrats and happy for you!