i'm so sorry you're in so much pain still. i do think an ileostomy can improve your quality of life greatly. as you know, i've already had mine done on July of this year and feel so much better this way. and i would never go back to the way it was.
about removing the rectum, unfortunately for ppl like us they don't usually do that. i wish they had removed mine too and made an end ileostomy, but my dr also said that there's no way he'll do it. so i have a loop ileostomy. another reason why i wish i could have an end ileo is b/c end ileos stick out much better and usually don't tend to retract as loop ileos do. mine is already retracted - the lower part is at the level as my skin, sometimes lower, and the upper part is just a tiny bit higher, but lately it's starting to look almost the same as the lower part. i hate it, cause it causes burns in my skin. but i use convex wafers and adapt rings and they seem to help a lot. when i changed a week ago i thought of trying the flat wafer again. bad idea. i just changed couple hours ago and saw the biggest burn in my skin i've ever had since the surgery, so i guess i'll stick to convex from now on. with the convex wafer i don't have the burn issues.
i'm sorry your parents are still so against it. maybe you should introduce them to this site, so they can read for themselves how there are so many of us that are very happy with their ostomies and live a full life! maybe this site can help them understand better that having an ostomy is not the end of the world. and they can also ask us the questions themselves, we'll all be happy to answer them
about the surgery, since your colon has already been taken out, then your surgery should be like mine - creating only the ileostomy is a short and easy procedure - mine took only 20 mins! there wasn't much pain after the surgery and i used pain meds only in the first couple of days, then i didn't need any.
what you should be aware of is that in the first 2 weeks or so your system will be restless, meaning it takes time for your system to realize it's new
location of outlet/it's new route, so there could be lots of guts pain and even obstructions. but it's totally normal at first and goes away after about
2 weeks, when your system adjusts finally. also, your stoma will be VERY loud at the first 2 weeks. lol my stoma was SO loud it constantly woke me up at night
but it was trully funny.. after 2 weeks she became very silent, she doesn't makes any noises now, maybe only in the morning she makes a bit of noise, but this noise is so tiny that only i can hear it. i guess she just wants to say "good morning" lol.
i now feel the best i've felt in 17 yrs struggling with my nonfunctioning colon. i do have a slow small intestine, but i'm handling it now with lots of prune juice and it seems to help much better now than when i still used my rectum. now that the rectum is out of the way, the affect of the prune juice on only the small intestine is much more affective and long lasting. i think the small intestine doesn't adjust to laxatives as the large one does and you can fool him every time
(i do have this fear that one day it won't work, cuz then i don't know what i'll do). i also drink presh squeezed pear juice - it also has a laxative affect, at least for me. but only if i drink at least 400 ml and it has to be fresh squeezed (you know, like they squeez carrot juice etc)
i can eat almost everthing; i still stay away from certain foods, such as: fresh fruits and vegies (just tried some not long ago and it caused me pain and slowing down my system), peanuts, peanut butter, rice (can cause me a blockage easily), any kind of beans, corn, milk (at first all dairy caused me awful pain, but now i can eat cheese, only the milk it self doesn't agree with me), fiberous foods - they also block my system badly.
but compared to the way i was before the ileo op, i now can eat and enjoy many more types of foods
life with an ostomy is really not so bad at all, and it shouldn't stop you from doing anything you like to do. actually you'll be able to do a lot more with the ileo than w/o it.
hope i helped some and i hope everything works out for you soon. best wishes to you!