Gilda, have you tried to place an eakin seal around the stoma to see if this will help to keep the stool from getting onto your skin? How is your skin looking now?
As far as the freak out stage....this too shall pass! I used to feel so nervous and self conscious, but those feelings have gotten better with time. I have even told several people at work that I have a stoma.
As far as sex....go to Target and buy a belly band that is sold in the maternity department. This will hold your bag close to your body and helps to prevent the rustling sound that the bags make. I also bought a cloth pouch cover and this also helps with the rustling sound and also to hide the contents of the bag. Since it has been 6 months now, I sometimes just let the bag hang while we have sex. It does not bother my husband in the least nor does it get in our way.
I bought a hernia belt and love it. It keeps my wafer snug against my body and this helps with the pulling feeling.
Diagnosed w/colonic inertia, obstructive defecation syndrome, anismus, rectocele, and intussusecption
2005-hysterectomy w/pelvic prolapse repairs
2010-subtotal colectomy, rectopexy, and temporary diverting loop ileostomy. Parastomal hernia discovered in November, so more surgery, probably end ileostomy with relocation of stoma.