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andorable
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Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 1/10/2011 1:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi All,
Its been a while since I posted last so thought I would drop by and say Hi and let you all know whats been happening. As a few of you are aware, my father was battling pancreatic cancer, which spread to his lungs, colon and basically all over he lost his battle on Dec 15, I helped nurse him to the end and it broke my heart watching him deteriorate so rapidly and although I am happy he is no longer in pain, I miss him terribly. My sweet mum is hanging in there, she has been so strong throughout it all, but I am worried about her too. All of this has played havoc on my body, I have been going through menopause and have been bleeding, first lot of bleeding in a couple of years so my doc is concerned it may be cancer of the uterus which will require a full hysterectomy. But that is really the least of my concerns right now, just trying to get through the terrible grief I feel and be there for my mum as well, I have my good days and days where I can't stop crying, I know its early days yet and hopefully in time I will be able to cope better. Thanks for listening , take care
Doreen

Another UC wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 2111
   Posted 1/10/2011 11:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry Doreen for your loss. It is very difficult when you lose your parents as we have lost both sets of ours. My Mom and his Mom both suffered as well so I understand your grief and pain. Try and focus on all the good memories and do take some comfort that he is now at peace and no longer suffering. Time does heal and helps but right now you need to grieve too - try not to let it make you sick in the process. If you need a mild tranquilizer take one (they really work...I had a mild diazapam or two when I was so emotional after hubby's recent surgery as I couldn't stop crying myself) and it did help a lot.

Your Mom needs you too right now so try and be strong for her and definitely talk about Dad and all the good times as that really does help too.

God Bless
64 yr old male --suffered with UC & in May 06 severe flare & hospitalized 6 days...various prednisone treatments leading to steroid dependence and osteopenia, 12 asacol, 200 mg Imuran, failed remicade infusions Jan-May 2010 Dependence on pain meds. Made decision in 6/10 to have surgery which was on 12/17/10 and no longer in pain.

2b ColonFree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2603
   Posted 1/11/2011 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Doreen, i'm so sorry for your lose and for the truly hard times you're going through. all that's happened has to affect you and your family emotionally, very understandable. i know i've been having depression lately too and have been crying a lot too, so i bought some natural pills from a nature supplement store and they seem to really help.

it takes time to recover a crisis like this, but you will. and as UC wife said, do try to focus on the good memories, talk about them and all the good times you had together and be comforted that he's now resting in peace.

take care of your self. i hope you eventually won't need another surgery and everything works out ok. keep well!
Hodaya
06/05/2007 - STARR procedure
colonic inertia w/pelvic floor dysfunction
08/16/2009 - total colectomy w/ileorectal anastomosis
07/08/2010 - loop ileostomy

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 1/12/2011 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you both for your kind words :-) I thought with everything going on it was playing havoc with my body but it appears the problems are very real. I had some bleeding and thought it was a period and I haven't had a period in over 4 years and my doc did some bloods and discovered I was going through menopause that was confirmed about a year ago now and because of the damage the prednisone has done to my bone density my doc thought it was best I have a HRT implant which lasts 6 months then after my dads passing I started bleeding and was in a fair bit of pain so off I went for an ultra sound of the abdomen and its come back showing thickening with a mass (possibly polyps) on my uterus although we are not pushing panic buttons yet it does mean I need to see a gynocologist for further investigation apparently first step will be a curette and biopsies taken and hope it is benign if not I may have cancer so its a bit of a nervous wait now to see what the outcome will be. Also my family are caught up in the floods here in Queensland, Australia and I am very worried about them right now as they are staying in their home and are surrounded by water with king tides predicted at 4 am in the morning. So please say a prayer for them. Thanks all
Doreen

2b ColonFree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2603
   Posted 1/12/2011 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   
oh no.. so sorry to hear this about your health :( i do hope it's benign. and oh my gosh.... the flood situation sounds just aweful. you and your family are in my prayers, pls keep us posted on everything and your family.
Hodaya
06/05/2007 - STARR procedure
colonic inertia w/pelvic floor dysfunction
08/16/2009 - total colectomy w/ileorectal anastomosis
07/08/2010 - loop ileostomy

Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 1/13/2011 3:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Doreen, So sorry to hear of your recent heartaches. I hope you find peace and strength to help your Mom and cope with the struggles.
Those things we keep trying to do get easier not because the feat gets easier but our ability to "do" gets better.
Thyroid cancer removed 1988
Stomach problems finally figured out 2001 Crohn's/Colitus
Tried every drug without much success
Colon/rectal cancer removed Aug 2009
6 Grown kids, grandkids and a great husband to keep me busy

honestwoman50
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 833
   Posted 1/16/2011 4:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Doreen  So sorry for your loss.  I lost my father a year ago last Oct, I still have a hard time.  All I can tell you as I have lost my 18 yr old son to a impaired driver in 2000, that its just day by day and you have to walk through the pain.  For me I did not feel that it ever got easier, cuz If I think about it for a sec. I am still bawling my eyes out.
But what seems to happen is as time passes you get busy with your life and the thoughts and grief are not in your face every second of the day, so in that way it gets better.  Plus I had a cousin that comitted sucide on Dec 1, so it been quite a sad holiday for many.  So just know that your not alone, and we will all be praying for you and your mum.
 
Blessings Leslie

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 1/16/2011 11:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Leslie and I'm very sorry for your losses too. I know in time it will get easier and that I'm not alone and your right the busier your life becomes the less time to be sad, it was only 4 weeks yesterday since dad passed so its still very raw and I think about him so much, but it does help knowing he is not suffering anymore. Take care everyone and thanks for your kind words, Hang in there Leslie, sending big ((((((((hugs)))))))))) your way
Doreen
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