You are exactly where my husband was last June - he had had enuf!
It isn't a choice any one of you want to make for sure but it cures you of the UC and it really does give you a life back. Granted, it is major surgery but once you heal and see just how much better you feel, the pouch and changing it and the learning curve are still sooooooooooo much better than suffering and missing out on your life with your family as indicated above.
When my husband made up his mind we looked online and educated and acquainted ourselves with the surgery illustrations, different Ostomy manufacturer's information and on YouTube there are some very giving people who illustrate and show different things about
caring for an ostomy and changing and emptying the pouch etc.
By doing this beforehand, It honestly took all the "unknown" out of it and the both of us were so prepared and ready that we were not shocked or caught off guard after the surgery. I am a bit squeamish or so I thought....not a problem when he was recuperating from surgery and I observed the process with the ostomy nurse.
Our ins. also covered in home health care that we had for 11 visits in total for ostomy management so we were both confident and comfortable to be on our own with the changes after being released from the hospital.
The only regret my husband has is that he didn't do it sooner. As his Dr told him though....you were not ready sooner...which was the truth. It had to be when he was at the point of wanting this and not being influenced or encouraged by anyone else. Broke my heart to see him suffer so long and so badly but he tried everything chasing a remission that was just not meant to be.
My sincere best wishes to you and your wife. Your kids will be so happy too when you get back on your feet and can start going to their events too.
(Oh BTW...initially and even now I help him do the changing as he is currently having a bit of a skin irritation issue and we are trying a different wafer (all pectin) powder etc and lying down makes it easier. If your wife is willing to give you a hand initially you will find that the extra help in the beginning is a big help as you can be all thumbs. He had a slight leak starting and I was out earlier this week and he got in the shower and took care of it himself so he can do it on his own..it's just if I am home it makes it easier and faster but certainly not a requirement. He did his own changing and showed the home health care nurse that he was self-sufficient.)
Post Edited (Another UC wife) : 4/9/2011 1:39:22 PM (GMT-6)