I'm not going to kid you, the surgery is hell...plain and simple...but, consider your alternative...there were people on my same floor much sicker than me and I was feeling sorry for them, not me!
My colon and most of rectum was removed April 14th....so, after one week I can say it's tough, it's touch managing the pouch (we all need time to practice), and there will be other challenges, however, the alternative(s) were a lot more depressing and debillitating...luckily, I had my surgery "just in time" and hopefully am free of ulcerative colitis and any possible cancer.
As far as the sexual thing....that's a big one of course..but, I as I told my wife, I would rather be able to dance with you and be healthy for everyhing else and give up the sex....than try and keep the sex and end up dead or worse (yes, there are things on this earth that are worse than death).
Good luck with your surgery, and better luck with recovery....
Thanks for the helpful replies. In regard to the surgery, I do feel confident about the surgeon. He's young (and brilliant imo) and would do the operation laparoscopically utilizing the latest surgical techniques. I'm referring to a total removal of the rectum. 5 years ago, he noted, it would have required a lengthy abdominal incision. Although, he mentioned, if the tumor has grown into the nerves, which I suspect it has, there will be a painful recovery afterwards. But I suppose there are painkillers for that. Nevertheless as a single guy living a distance from my family I'll be alone in my recovery except for a few friends (whom I haven't told yet) and, I'm not a wealthy guy to afford a nurse. In regard to friends, I hesitate to even tell most of them. I have told a couple of trusted ones, but my image of myself as a normal intact guy has diminished. For instance, a woman I started to be interested in a month ago when I seemed ok, I'm now hesitant to be honest with about my condition. But of course that's not about saving my own life. It's interesting to read the above mention about Farrah Fawcett. And I read anecdotes about famous people who've had ostomy, like Fred Astair(?) but it doesn't help. I'm just really struggling with this. But I know that all of us on this Forum are struggling with this and none of us ever wanted to be. But I read about the young ones in their 20's and 30's who've gone through this and I admire their acceptance and their courage. I just never thought I'd be here. To be honest.