It is frustrating not to know whether you have Crohn's or UC. Every test I had, including a genetic one, all pointed to UC but the doctors said that there was always the possibility they could be wrong. I think that is often times the case with IBD.
I chose a permanent ileostomy even though I could have tried a j-pouch. Every once in a while my mind starts to wonder, out of curiosity, how my body would have handled a j-pouch even though I was very sure I did not want to go that route. I put ALOT of thought and research into which surgery to choose, and I know I made the right choice for me. I think it is just human nature to play the "what if" game. As I become more comfortable with my ileostomy and, one by one, successfully try all the activities I love, second guessing my decision has completely gone away. That is not to say I don't have the occasional bad day, but it does mean I have no regrets. I am very, very happy with the outcome of surgery and life with an ileostomy.
By the way, my low feelings yesterday are gone. As I said, I really don't know why I was down. Last week was one of my best post-surgery. I took a challenging week-long certification course for my profession (something I doubted I would be able to do this year with all the illness and surgery) and then went on snowy overnight backpacking trip and overcame many fears of doing such an excursion with an ostomy. Sometimes the emotions of all this throw me for a loop, but then I remind myself of how far I really have come in 5 months. Maybe I just expect too much of myself. Along with healing physically, one has to heal emotionally and perhaps that just takes a little longer.
-Officially diagnosed with UC in 2006, though had symptoms since 1999.
-Had mild/moderate symptoms continuously until severe flare in autumn 2010 which required 2-week hospital stay
-Took Asacol, Rowasa, Canasa and Prednisone to manage flares but meds stopped working
-Tried 1 infusion of Remicade but had excruciating joint pain and discontinued
-Had permanent ileostomy surgery 11/8/2010
Post Edited (Blueheron) : 4/20/2011 8:06:04 PM (GMT-6)