Oh, you guys...will it always be like this? I just want a window of a few weeks...heck, a few days...where I don't think about
my body's waste removal system. The latest saga:
10 days or so (give or take, didn't really keep track) I got this urge to have a BM "the old fashioned way." I've heard it can be normal to pass some mucus, so I sat on the toilet and did pass two small solid bits of "stuff" (kind of white-ish looking clumps). There were a couple drops of blood in the water and some on the paper. I thought, "Hmm...that's weird." and went on about
my business. about
three days later, I felt that same type of urge, so back to the toilet. This time there was more blood than before and a large clump/ball of "stuff" came out...almost the color of stool but more like silly putty colored. Today this happened again with even more blood and another ball of the putty colored stuff.
Now, I know about
how stool can sneak down that small
opening with a loop ileo and all of that....but my rectal stump was brought forward and stitched to the end of my incision (as I understand it) so it's not connected to anything. I also understand that the stump can be making mucus which needs to come out at some point. I think the solid stuff I'm passing is that, as I've read it can dry up and harden into a ball. My concern though is that this increasing blood means that UC is acting up in what is left of my rectum. It is freaking me out, big time. (Disclaimer: I did put a call in to my surgeon's nurse to ask her about
this, waiting for a call back...probably won't hear from her until tomorrow I'm guessing) Does anyone know what this means in terms of my hopes of a future j-pouch? If this is a UC flare up, does that mean I can't get a pouch later? Also, if this is a flare up, will it keep getting worse? Right now there is no urgency or pain to speak of, so if this is all it will be I can live with it until my next surgery. Any idea what they would have me do to treat it if it is something that will progressively get worse?
Obviously I will be discussing all of this with them when I go for my follow up on Monday. I'm just extremely upset right now. I would even go so far as to say I feel traumatized. I didn't go through all of this just to be dealing with a flare up six weeks later. I am so scared and angry and I just want to cry. I don't have anywhere else to discuss it (not even my blog!) because I know there are people in my family (like my mother!!!) who are just waiting for something to go wrong so they can say "I told you not to do this!" Ugh, this sucks! Someone talk me down and tell me this is going to be ok!