Stripey, glad you're getting some rest. Enjoy your soup. Not so good to do things you know are stupid though .... (if they're "maybe stupid" that's another story
I had several things happen at once that made me see my friends less.... got sick, got in a relationship, and a lot of them had kids. I was missing friends before I got super sick .... Not sure I can sort out who is a "real" friend and who isn't, but I sure did get isolated.
The people who visited me the most in the hospital and afterward leaned heavily toward people who had had major illnesses themselves (or their partners had). They know how much visits mean, and they are less freaked out by the whole thing. But a lot of people didn't really know what to do, and I was not in the mood to instruct them.... some said call me if you want a visit, and I didn't feel like calling anyone.... but I got so many nice notes on my blog and such, and I guess I was wanting to be alone a lot too....
Windy city, I don't know how old you are, but one thing I found when I met my partner was that you can actually talk about
all these things you mention, fears and limits and balance of caregiving and whatever (and you can ask for things too and the other person can say yes or no, as can you).... it's so much easier than when I was younger and came in with so many "shoulds" for myself and for a significant other.... of course, a big illness can shift things.... Hope you find someone good, if you decide you want that.
48 years old, female.
2004 dx indeterminate colitis. Back and forth between Crohn's and UC dx. Many drugs, minimal success.
2010-11 Crazy skin and eye complications, high fevers, bad flaring. Out of good drug options, tired of scary drugs.
Feb 2011 -- proctocolectomy with permanent ileolostomy; abscess, blood clot. Still healing, still glad for the surgery