I hope your surgery went well. You'll know when the time is right when you feel like having sex again. For me, it was about
2 months after surgery.
I've been married for 14 years and was sick for 7 of them, so my husband was happy that I was healthy and actually felt like having sex again. He isn't fazed by the pouch, so I don't cover it up, but I do wear short nighties to sleep, and most of the time, it doesn't even make it off, so neither of us see the pouch anyways.
In the beginning, I used to snap on a mini pouch before, which I did for me since I was still getting used to it, but now I don't bother with that anymore.
You're in my thoughts and prayers for a successful recovery.
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free and medicine-free since surgery and very thankful to be healthy again.