i can't answer your jpouch weight question, i decided on a permanent bag. I think that once you have your surgery and are able to exercise and eat healthy again, you will lose weight.
I was 29 when i had surgery, with an almost 2 year old at home, and i was letting him down, and missing his life, and that was just not acceptable. so i said, forget this crap (literally) and take this colon out!!!
So i went to surgery, it was hard, it hurt and it took a while to recover. It was gross at first, but my mom put it this way she said, "will it be any grosser than having diaherra and pooping all the time?"
She was right. You've got small kids, so i'm guessing you are used to having all kinds of disgusting things put on you at any given time, lol. I've been thrown up on, had chewed up food put on me, pooped on, peed on, sneezed on, all that good stuff so that kind of helped me be ready for the gross factor, lol.
My main reason for surgery was my son, i couldn't even take him to the store, cause i had to go to the bathroom all the time. I kept thinking, how am i gonna sit in car line, or go on field trips, or ball games, or his wedding. (I ramble btw) I was at the beach, watching him leave with my family and my husband to go play on the beach, and i couldnt go cause i was having to go to the bathroom. And that was my final straw.
Anyway, the first few weeks are really hard, cause even though, the minute you wake up, you can feel the UC is gone, its a clean feeling, you still have the surgery pain and the weakness from that. But even then, i felt better than i had felt in years.
It''s been four years, and i do all the things a mom should do, and a wife should do. I have enough energy to clean and mow and plant flowers, and i can sit in car line, and volunteer at school, and go on field trips, and take my son to the store, to the beach, whereever. We are actually going to disney for his bday in a few weeks, and i'm so excited, because this time i get to eat the mickey ice creams without spending two hours in the bathroom!!! You will find there are little things like that that make you so glad you had surgery. Today, it was being able to spend the four hours outside it takes to drain, clean and refill the hottub.
I always tell this, and it's corny, but when i had UC, my son had to play in the bathroom all day, and i had those supposed washable crayons and i let him draw on the shower walls. Well, after surgery, the first time i took a shower alone and got out and saw myself, it was horrible. I looked like a heroin addict, track marks from iv's, i was so skinny, that big scar on my stomach, bag hanging there (and i promise I'm not saying this to scare you!) and i cried and cried, and then i caught sight of the crayon on the walls, and i remember why i had surgery and what i was gaining! And i realized that the scar would fade, the track marks would go, i would get some muscle tone back, and it would be ok, it would be great!
And it has been!
This may help you, make a list of all the things you wish you could do, all the things you are missing out on now. And if you want to, ask us if we do them, or ask your surgeon. And keep a pro and con list, mine had three cons, and about 300 pros!
Anyway, like i said, i ramble, but my point was, i was right where you are, and i took my life back, i beat UC and its been great!