I am in total agreement with the above posts. You need a GOOD ostomy nurse ASAP. They should have assigned you one while you were in the hospital. My ostomy nurse gave me his cell phone number and told me to call any time I have a problem.
What type of appliance are you using? They gave me Hollister in the hospital but I had a problem with two of them bursting. I switched to the Coloplast Sensura one piece. My ostomy nurse recommended them and I love them! For a few months after surgery I did have some skin irritation under the wafer. My surgeon suggested I leave the wafer on a week if possible. I just rinse my bag out with water, while still attached, and place about a capful of 3% hydrogen peroxide into it and that sure helps alleviate the odor. Since my skin has long since healed, I change the appliance twice a week.
Things will get better. It took me about six months to feel like myself. about a month post op (I have a permanent ileostomy and my surgeon left the anus opened but the rectum and colon are removed), I developed a hematoma inside the anus. The surgeon had to drain it at my first post op office visit ! Talk about pain...yikes! Then I was on a regimen of antibiotics. A few weeks after that, I was hospitalized for dehydration. It's been rough but it DOES get better. My surgery was June 28th, 2010. The surgeon told me that in one year I would feel like a new woman....and I thought....ugh..one year? But here it is, and he was right. I'll keep you in my prayers.