After 5 years I STILL have the depression. But my story is VERY DIFFERENT. Upshot is 2 surgeons did removal of sigmoid colon (was told I had an internal prolapse of sigmoid) and "correction" of internal prolapses I NEVER HAD! And many I did not consent to. The procedures I did consent to were based on wrong info given to me by 3 surgeons and 2 radiologists. As result of that surgery, I permanently lost the use of my colon and rectum and for 7 months the use of my small intestine. Lost 1/4 of my body weight due to ongoing small bowel obstructions from adhesions. Anastomosis (join of colon ends where sigmoid was removed failed and colon scarred in to diameter of a pencil) No f/u from my original surgeon though he dx'd the failed anastomosis on xray. He faxed me 5 faxes saying he would "DO nothing!" Had to see 11 surgeons at 7 hospitals over 13 months before full extent of damage could be realized. THEN only one would do what could save me, cutting of very dense small bowel adhesions and permanent ileostomy. Lucky I found this one doc to do the best that could be done for me and very lucky to be alive and have travelled a lot since this and have taken up ballroom dancing days I feel like it.
Residual I have chronic fatigue, vertigo, very heat sensitive, and have had some ileostomy diarrhea and issues trying to get impacted disuse colon mucous out of my rectum. BUT if this is all I get result of all this, I WILL BE LUCKY!!!
The worst part of my scenario is that my whole experience was caused by original misdiagnosis of a rectal empyting difficulty issue (But I WAS MOVING STOOL RECTALLY AND A NORMAL AMOUNT DAILY), then original surgery done that did not need to be on retrospective review of the original scan, then no f'u to complications. I do have a medmal case going on that certainly looks promising. BUT nothing can undo all of this. With all I have learned of the "busine$$ of medicine" it truly scares me. We all have to know who we are dealing with and be sure they are in medicine for the right reasons, such as the doc who saved my life is. I'm in counseling for post-traumatic stress and am making FULL use of every day, life can be short, so we all need to go for it.
I will never be the same because now I know too much. It took me two years, but I figured out my own case even. VERY scary to know that much. THEN found out that the original surgeons did not even send my needlessly removed sigmoid colon to the lab at the hospital. Instead what arrived at the lab with my name on it was a length of what from the path report evidently (according to reviewers) and what I have found to be circumferences and diameter of small bowel v.s. sigmoid colon, was small bowel instead of sigmoid colon. THEN in the op report no mention was made of removal of any of my small bowel which would not have been part of the original surgery anyway. I'm like What?????? Violation of tissue disposal laws or what? Then we found out the hospital billed my ins co for $26,000 for the original surgery and my ins had a contract with that hospital to pay them $44,000 for removals of sigmoid colons (apparently needed or not.) Ins. fraud? I just have to wonder.
So for very different reasons, I can relate to how you feel. Emotional stuff gets better with time, then what becomes the major focus is that we stay OK the way we are, find out what to do to care best for ourselves, then make good use of our time. We are still all here thus far despite some incredibly awful experiences. We have to all figure we have a purpose and more life to live.
I wish you all the best, and just needed to share my REALLY BIZARRE story. I have all the records, etc to back everything up. As I learned enough to put together my own case, I just was in disbelief. Maybe it's worse to know in cases like mine, but there must be a greater purpose for that too. Best wishes,
Post Edited (esoR) : 7/17/2011 1:45:15 PM (GMT-6)