hi geegeegee, i agree that it is hard, very hard to get used to it all, you have just been thru a major surgery that most others never have to suffer , your body is still in shock from the drugs & the physical changes the doctors have carried out to your body - it is natural to feel completely unusual or strange and depressed after something like this - however as the others have said it is only a short time since your op & things do improve as the days go by, i found it very hard to imagine in the first days after my surgery what it would be like in a months time or 2 months time, this all seemed so far into the future, people told me that they could do everything once they had healed & gotten used to the bags, changing etc, it all seemed to be just too good to be true, my advice is to take each day as it comes, deal with each one in its own time, its all we can do, your body will heal - it knows how to do this itself - it is designed to do this - i hope that you will be surprised after say 5 or 6 weeks & you will be notice that out of the blue you feel a lot stronger & more like the normal you - this is what i found - while it does take a long time time fully recover it seems that the 6 week mark is when we begin to feel a little better
you must have many questions & thoughts which only us with ileos would understand - so dont be afraid to say or ask anything here - no matter what - we wont be grossed out by anything - many here have been thru the same as you & have had the same feelings as you when being ill, waiting for surgery & then trying to recover
best best wishes
UC since 1990, not a lot of fun
Qualified as ileostomate May 2010, a much happier boy now
panproctocolectomy, abdomino perineal resection, perm ileostomy
my colon may not be, but my heart is in the right place !!