Thank You All And Thank You Collicat.

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David Martin
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 8/21/2011 8:02 AM (GMT -6)   
I havent been on here in quite a while. But i thought id drop by, i wanted to say thanks to everyone and a big thanks to Collicat. Back when i was going through all of the treatments and surgeries you've been here with great advice and was someone to talk to."as has everyone"

--Span of my life--

Hello, my name is Adam Williams, I am almost 17; sept 30th. I lived with UC for 3-4 years before having my colon removed, during my experience with UC ive been through alot. its not easy and it never will be, all the drugs and treatments; constant GI visits and emotional heartache, to me this is has changed my life, i have so many stories i can tell from my experience, some good; some bad.

I went through a three stage total colectomy operation. Once i had my ostomy i was happy, i loved life and spent the time i had with it with my family and friends. Its was the time my parents could take a small break from worrying about me, they enjoyed that i had my ostomy and were so happy i lived my life once again without pain. Sure living with an ostomy is something different, i didnt use the bathroom the same, i had to empty a bag but i didnt care, if anything i thought it was kinda cool to live with, my friends and family supported me, but it was short lived, after some time i went in for my final surgery.

The connection of my J-pouch and the removal of my stoma.

I was somewhat excited because i finally made the choice to move on to get a j-pouch, i could of had an alternate surgery so i could keep my stoma/ostomy but i couldnt let my parents down, they wanted me to try and live a "normal" life without it. so i agreed.

After i was released i moved on in life, i was using the bathroom 10-14 times a day, but they said it would shorten after time, i needed the j-pouch to adapt to my body. i learned what i can eat and what i cant. No more corn. haha.

Now its been almost 10 months after the final surgery, i use the bathroom 8-11 times a day. Not much of a change but i learn to adapt so i know what times i usually need to go, i learned my limits on what i can and cant do. how long i can hold it. I do have leakages everyday, i eat just enough to get by managing my weight "132" which my doctors are pleased for me to maintain. but there are certain times i start to get a increase of BM and i stop eating, i know its bad i should ever stop suddenly because of that, i just do.. i normally drop 5-15 pounds when that happens.

My parents had me put on a list for possibly suicidal, pretty much everyone keeps a more look on me to make sure i dont try anything again.
i was going to go abit more into depth but due to the rules i will not. Just know i am getting proper help to control stress and my emotions. Doesnt seem to work much but it keeps me busy. checking in etc..

I gave up on relationships because i dont want to depend on someone to be there for me, never works in the end, the last girl i dated was only with me because she felt bad for me, so i just remained an outcast. i have 2 friends i go to, one that helps and has been always there to talk if i need anything or want to vent, and one well.. He isnt real, i have to realize that but i still like to think he is. He's helped me more than i can have done on my own. No one knows about him. I fear that if someone was to find out that they would take me and put me back into a mental hospital for evaluation. Im only telling you all because well. It's nice to know atleast someone knows, even if i dont know any of you in real life. Only over the internet.

As much as i hate to say it depression has been something thats came out of all this, i know a few months back i was wanting my ostomy back, id cry night after night wishing i had it back, now i dont know whats what. ive came this far, ive done so much, to throw it all away; well isnt an option now. even if it is hard.




this is just an update on me. i dont know how often or if ill be back on here. but i wanted to say thanks incase i never do again. If anyone wants to contact me you can reach me at my 2nd skype account "not personal one" David-Martin810. the name will be AdamWilliams.

But ill check back later today, after that. Who knows.

Adam Williams
David Martin

andorable
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 8/21/2011 10:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi David,
You have been through a lot for someone so young, and I am sorry that you have all that to deal with. I am however glad you have come here for support as we all do know what your going through and have all had our down times. I only hope that you do get some help and get back on top of this depression. Are you on anti depressants? If your not I strongly suggest you get off to see your doc and explain to him exactly what you have just told us. As impossible as it may seem you will get through this and don't for one minute think you would be letting anyone down if you opted to go back to having an ileostomy again. If you feel your life would be happier with that again then speak with your parents and tell them how you really feel about your life with a J Pouch.
Don't give up on relationships either, you have many years ahead of you and you will find someone that loves you for you and will overlook any medical problems you have, Miss right is out there you just have to have faith in yourself, you are a good person and any young lady would be lucky to have you by her side, and it will happen. Now is the time you need your friends and family so lean on them, I know they will want to help you through this tough time. Please keep coming here and letting us know how your going we are all here for you and understand exactly what your going through. We are only too happy to give you advice and support that you need. I did think it was the end of the world for me when I first went through surgery and it took time to adjust but I am at a happy place with it all now and I know you will find that place soon. Come and vent any time you like and keep us posted on your progress. First things first and get to the doc, Take good care of yourself
Big (((((((((Hugs))))))))))) your way
Doreen

2much2bear
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 8/22/2011 4:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Ditto - you are still young and 10 months is early days - you have a great life ahead of you. take care.
Karen: 49 years old
1997: Diagnosed IBS
2003: Pelvic Floor repair
2006: STARR/ODS/diagnosed slow transit constipation
2007: Sigmoid resection -MRI showed twist - (made colonic inertia worse but cleared obstruction)
March 2009: Total colectomy/loop ileostomy - quality of life 100%
23 Sept 2010: Ileostomy reversal - not going well
Waiting for test to be done

Collicat
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 827
   Posted 8/22/2011 2:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Adam,

I am so happy that you have given us an update. I have been looking for you, wondering how you were doing and worrying a little.

I am really sorry that you are still having a tough time and that you have not had the results that you hoped for, at least not yet.

Adam, the mother in me is coming out and I need you to listen to what I have to say.

Firstly….you have had six years now of not feeling well….this is a lifetime to you. You cannot help but feel depressed and unhappy. However, there is help out there. You say you are getting help to control your emotions. I hope you are seeing doctors that you trust. MANY, MANY people need some anti-depressants following this surgery to help them get over the hump. If the doctor that you are seeing does not listen to you then go to your GI and if he/she doesn’t listen then talk to your surgeon.
Am I remembering correctly that your dad lives away from your home? If so, does he also know how you are feeling? And do your parents understand the depth of your depression? You also need to lean on your friend that you trust…..that is what friends do….sometime in the future you can be there to help him.

I know in the past I pushed in the direction of the J pouch and tried to get you to understand your parent’s thoughts. However, I would say that after 10 months you have given this a valiant effort. You were so happy with your ileostomy that maybe it is time to start talking to your doctor about the possibility of going back to it….that is ALWAYS an option.

Lastly, PLEASE to do leave this site and not let us know how you are doing. You have another family here….people that understand COMPLETELY what you are going through. I, for one, will feel hurt and disappointed if you leave our forum. You have so much advice to offer other young people that are going through this.

Please know that we are thinking about you,

Cathy
Mom to Dillon (age 20) who had three major UC flares over two years....Very sick. Colectomy Sept/09, J pouch built Jan/10 and take down Feb/10. Now out living life at University and doing great. NO MEDS

David Martin
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 8/22/2011 4:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Cathy,

im working on trying anti depressants, ive talked to the doctor im seeing and she also thinks it would be a good idea to give it a try. my mom on the other hand well.. she doesnt think im doing all that bad, she just see's me as going through a rough time and it'll pass soon. Ive snapped at her twice, as much as i have hated to but its the only way to get her to listen. most of the time she'll just forget about it.

My father got back a while ago, around 2nd surgery, he's been here and listens to what i have to say, he's the only reason ive been able to get some help. he travels up to the pentagon for work in DC. leaves 4am gets home around 6-7pm. so he's out most of the time. but im glad he's back. i think its helped alot.

ill be talking to my doctors and "medical group" in a month or two, they'll check everything and see how im doing, it'll be the main chance to say if i want to go back or live on. i dont know what i want to do though. but like you said ill have an option to return anytime.

and alright, ill check in on the forum every other day or so, id be glad to help anyone if i can, but for a little while ill just be focusing on myself.

thank you.
Adam, 16. Birthday Sept. 30.

Diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis between 05-06. I have UC but its under control. I had surgery may 25 to remove my colon. 2nd surgery Aug. 31 surgery to reconnect to J-pouch. 3rd is dued to be dec. 7

blueglass
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 3332
   Posted 8/23/2011 8:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Adam,

Good that you are focusing on yourself and your own healing. Collicat has some good advice there.

You know, it's pretty hard to be 16, period, even with perfect health. And it's hard to be sick, at any age. So, you really are dealing with a lot.

I hope you can find some anti depressants that help.

Do you have some little things that you enjoy in your life? A video game, books, a sport to watch, a funny movie, a hobby, etc? If there's anything like that that you're not too depressed to enjoy, well, I hope you can have some every day.

Hang in.
48 years old, female.
2004 dx indeterminate colitis. Back and forth between Crohn's and UC dx. Many drugs, minimal success.
2010-11 Crazy skin and eye complications, high fevers, bad flaring. Out of good drug options, tired of scary drugs.
Feb 2011 -- proctocolectomy with permanent ileolostomy; abscess, blood clot. Still healing, still glad for the surgery

Collicat
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 827
   Posted 8/23/2011 9:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Adam,

I have been thinking about your situation with your mother.

I believe she is in a bit of denial and I think that is just human nature. As a mother, your children are everything to you and it kills us to see them in pain (whether emotional or physical). I think it is our defense system to believe things are better than they are. Is there anyway that you could convince her to go to your meeting with the doctor you are seeing. Very often having an impartial person present will help to keep your conversation on track and might help her to see what is really going on with you.

I have also found that it helps to write down all the thoughts that you want to convey and give them to the person in the form of a letter or e-mail. So often, a conversation that is important to us can get off track due to heated emotions. Maybe you could give her a letter, tell her you are going out for a couple of hours (without your phone) and give her time to absorb what it says….then come home and sit down with her and hopefully both of you can calmly talk from your heart?? Just remember that I am sure she loves so much and how much concern she has…you have already made numerous comments that have impressed me on how you empathize with her….just don’t lose sight of that.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts.

And yes, I think it is so important right now to just keep focusing on yourself….you are a very wise 16 year old!
Mom to Dillon (age 20) who had three major UC flares over two years....Very sick. Colectomy Sept/09, J pouch built Jan/10 and take down Feb/10. Now out living life at University and doing great. NO MEDS
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