the worst/most insulting/funny comments you've had about your ostomy..

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Ironmum
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Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/19/2011 5:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Thought it would be fun to share some comments made by others! Here are some of mine...

1. (In a card when I was in hospital with peritonitis) - 'At least you get a break! put your feet up and relax while you're in there' - Mother in Law

2. 'Heard you got your bag back! Best thing you've ever done huh!?!?' - Mum in the school playground

3. On day 2 after ostomy surgery when all I could eat was 2 teaspoons of jelly. 'Oh you'll get your figure back in no time on a diet like that!' - Mother in Law

4. In a card on day 2 after surgery. 'Oh so you're a bag lady now.. not great' - Sister in law

And the best one of all.....

5. 'So what exactly is IN the bag? - Yes it's the Mother in Law again !
Sarah - 39 year old mum of 2 boys, runner/triathlete from UK
June/Oct 2010 - Peritonitis/perforated diverticulitis. Sigmoid colectomy, temp ileo then reversed.
DX Colonic dysmotility.
July 2011 - Permanent end Ileostomy after begging surgeon to put it back
Follow my blog - http://bagthatruns.blogspot.com/

80sChick
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Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1054
   Posted 9/19/2011 5:56 AM (GMT -6)   
LOL! Sounds like your MIL is a gem!!
 
When I was about to have my surgery I told one of my (very blonde) friends, "I'm having my colon removed," and she goes, "Can they put it back in? Don't you need that?"
 
She was totally serious. Awesome.

Ironmum
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Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/19/2011 6:00 AM (GMT -6)   
ha ha ! she certainly is...

ignorance is a funny thing! maybe I'm slightly odd, but if I have a close friend with a medical condition, I usually google and research so I feel I can understand what they're going through. Obviously most people - including your blonde friend! - don't ;-)

Anyone else got any gems???? got to keep our sense of humour!
Sarah - 39 year old mum of 2 boys, runner/triathlete from UK
June/Oct 2010 - Peritonitis/perforated diverticulitis. Sigmoid colectomy, temp ileo then reversed.
DX Colonic dysmotility.
July 2011 - Permanent end Ileostomy after begging surgeon to put it back
Follow my blog - http://bagthatruns.blogspot.com/

2much2bear
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 624
   Posted 9/19/2011 6:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Typical mother in laws!!! had similar. 
 
... and yes someone once asked me if the colon can be put back! eyes such ignorance really annoys me unfortunately and i get a bit short with them cant help it... especially when they have known about  the condition for a couple of years!!! skull
Karen: 49 years old
1997: Diagnosed IBS
2003: Pelvic Floor repair
2006: STARR/ODS/diagnosed slow transit constipation
2007: Sigmoid resection -MRI showed twist - (made colonic inertia worse but cleared obstruction)
March 2009: Total colectomy/loop ileostomy - quality of life 100%
23 Sept 2010: Ileostomy reversal - not going well
Waiting for test to be done

ring of fire74
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 9/19/2011 8:37 AM (GMT -6)   
On My first day back to work after my op all my workmates had tesco shopping bags stuck to their bellies.......
Male 37,keen runner and dad of the year!!!!
England
Diagnosed 2007 with moderate UC
2 year remission till June 2009
Colonoscopy Sep 09 showed severe left sided UC
Medication - aza, asacol,prednisoline, IV steroids and every supplement going but all to no avail.
NOV 2010-laprascopic subtotal colectomy and now feeling grrrrreat and med free

B'Dereh
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Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 1912
   Posted 9/19/2011 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
ring of fire I love your colleagues!
Sometimes the funniest moments are when others are being wonderful, not horrible.
A few days after getting home from the hopstial after my collectomy, a good friend came over for a light meal in the evening. I was standing there cutting a fresh loaf of bread, and suddenly my 2-week old stoma started making strange noises. Not exactly gas noises, but baby mouth noises. My friend put his hand over his stomache and said "oh excuse me, that was me" every time my stoma said something.

Ironmum
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Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/19/2011 1:11 PM (GMT -6)   
you have a very nice friend there B'Dereh! very true

leyton - funny funny! LOL
Sarah - 39 year old mum of 2 boys, runner/triathlete from UK
June/Oct 2010 - Peritonitis/perforated diverticulitis. Sigmoid colectomy, temp ileo then reversed.
DX Colonic dysmotility.
July 2011 - Permanent end Ileostomy after begging surgeon to put it back
Follow my blog - http://bagthatruns.blogspot.com/

blueglass
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 3332
   Posted 9/19/2011 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I actually think my funniest moment so far was w/a med student. I was in the ER a week after I got home from my proctocolectomy surgery w/a fever and soon to be diagnosed abscess. After the real doctors had examined me, he came in and asked if he could ask some questions and examine me..... when he asked to look at my bottom, he wanted to reassure me so he said, "Don't worry, I won't do a rectal exam."

I started laughing, saying no one ever would again....

A few weeks earlier, when I was in the hospital before surgery, at about 6 am a med student asked, "Have you moved your bowels today." Um, yeah, five times already...... suggested maybe he not ask that question of people hospitalized w/colitis.

I love some of these! What is in the bag? Offer to show her! Can you put it back in .... and I love the taped on shopping bags....
49 years old, female. Sick for way too long with Crohn's (or possibly UC) Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in Feb 2011. Perineal wound taking its time healing, but otherwise feel better than I have in years. I only take vitamins now, no drugs at all!

katiesmommy1
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 9/19/2011 3:59 PM (GMT -6)   
After telling a school nurse (at a Catholic school that I was thinking about sending my daughter to for Pre-k) that my daughter had an ileostomy she tells me.."oh no she can't come to this school, she won't be able to fit in my bathroom with that thing"...?? I was like really, my child is 30lbs what are you talking about.
Obviously my daughter did not attend that school.

By far the most insulting comments are always the.."wow..can they fix that in the future so she's normal again, or how can she live the rest of her life with that thing,

Post Edited (katiesmommy1) : 9/26/2011 6:29:48 PM (GMT-6)


80sChick
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Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1054
   Posted 9/19/2011 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Ironmum, I totally do the researching the illness thing. I thought I was the only one!!
Stephanie, 29 years old

March 2000-Diagnosed Crohn's Colitis
(Tried every drug imaginable, but lived 10 years with daily diarrhea)
March 18, 2010-Total Proctocolectomy and Permanent Ileostomy! :)
(Now med free, 4 subsequent procedures to correct blockages at stoma site)

Stoma named Zoe...She's my best bud!! :)

blueglass
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Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 3332
   Posted 9/19/2011 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I do that too. Partly so I won't look so ignorant, but also to try to understand....
49 years old, female. Sick for way too long with Crohn's (or possibly UC) Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in Feb 2011. Perineal wound taking its time healing, but otherwise feel better than I have in years. I only take vitamins now, no drugs at all!

flchurchlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 9/19/2011 5:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Sarah, your MIL is hilarious!!

One time, a lady at church asked me how I was feeling, and I told her much better since I had surgery, and she said, "You didn't have to get a bag did you?" And I said, "Yeah." And then there was this awkward silence as she looked at me in shock... I actually found it quite funny!
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free and medicine-free since surgery and very thankful to be healthy again.

polishdan
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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1595
   Posted 9/19/2011 9:00 PM (GMT -6)   
A week after my colectomy I was back in with peritonitis. After surgery for that I was in my hospital room and a female Dr came in with two male interns and announced, while she snapped on her rubber glove, that she was going to do a prostate exam. I said "no you're not". She snapped back "yes I am". "No you're not, I don't have a colon". She looked very embarrased and her air of "I'm the boss" left her demeaner. Not another word and they left. She could have killed me.

Dan

Ironmum
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Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/20/2011 6:26 AM (GMT -6)   
These are great! thanks for sharing everyone! Katiesmommie.. I've had that too from my MIL (again).. 'well perhaps they'll come up with a miracle cure so they can get you back to normal'..

Also very glad to hear she didn't go to that school!

I do take a strange sort of enjoyment about shocking people with my bag! ;-) flchurchlady you're quite right it's funny seeing people's reactions!

Some of the best ones are from people who say 'oh well at least it's temporary'... um... it's not!

Sad though that people are so ignorant and misinformed. And what's with these Doctors wanting to do rectal exams! so not good.. !
Sarah - 39 year old mum of 2 boys, runner/triathlete from UK
June/Oct 2010 - Peritonitis/perforated diverticulitis. Sigmoid colectomy, temp ileo then reversed.
DX Colonic dysmotility.
July 2011 - Permanent end Ileostomy after begging surgeon to put it back
Follow my blog - http://bagthatruns.blogspot.com/

Shaz032
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1251
   Posted 9/20/2011 6:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I think the time I felt most uncomfortable was at an Ostomy meeting of all things. I was in the US visiting ostomate net friends and one of them took me along to a meeting in their area. That particular meeting had different companies showing off their wares. I was talking to a couple of ladies from one company and they asked me how long I'd had my ileostomy and I replied "for about 23 years (at that time) now since I was 10 years old". The look they gave me and the sympathetic 'oh poor you' was enough to make me feel like saying 'but hey, wait a minute! You WORK for an ostomy supply company, surely you're used to this?' However, I just smiled sweetly and said 'thanks, but no sympathy needed. It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me - it gave me my life back!'

I love it when you tell people about your ostomy (and I'll tell anyone who'll listen lol) and you can see their eyes glancing over your body (with them trying to be very unobvious about it) to see if they can see it! lol
Ileostomy for 34 years due to UC. I had my surgery at 10 years of age.

Moderator of the Ostomy and Psoriasis Forums

_______________________________________________

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!

Ironmum
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Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/20/2011 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Ha ha Shaz that's exactly what I get now! I turned up at my running club and people dont' look me in the eye anymore.. their eyes go straight to my stomach trying to see if they can see the bag!.. I can hide it quite well under my lycra and I'm sure they think I'm making it up. 'Has she or has she not got a bag?'''....
Sarah - 39 year old mum of 2 boys, runner/triathlete from UK
June/Oct 2010 - Peritonitis/perforated diverticulitis. Sigmoid colectomy, temp ileo then reversed.
DX Colonic dysmotility.
July 2011 - Permanent end Ileostomy after begging surgeon to put it back
Follow my blog - http://bagthatruns.blogspot.com/

stripey
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1059
   Posted 9/21/2011 2:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Funniest thing, well I found it hilarious but the colleague didn't, was when I was pregnant. I was stood in the kitchen at work leaning with my back to the cupboards having a cup of tea chatting to my work friend. In comes a colleague I knew quite well and she is known for putting her hand on women's pregnancy bumps to feel the baby move, well she did that to me. 'oh I can feel the bay move!' she cried all excited, had to burst her bubble and explain that all she had felt was my stoma move - she had put her hand right over the bag. Her face was an absolute picture, very ashen white and she left and heard her walk to the bathrooms to obviously wash her hands - she no doubt thought that by touching by bag over my two layeres of clothes meant that she had to wash her hands.
Crohn's dx 1989, loop ileo 1992, end ileo 1992. Arthritis developed 1990 Stoma abcess 1995. Azathioprine started 1995. Panprocolorectomy 1999. Stillbirth 2000, antiphospholipid syndrome dx 2000. Flare up 2004, stoma abcess and strictoplasty 2004. Low blood pressure dx with impaired kidney function 2006, fludrocortisone pres. flare up 2010, azathioprine, codeine, immodium, simethicone.

flchurchlady
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 2765
   Posted 9/21/2011 4:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Stripey, that's freakin' hilarious!! yeah
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in '06.
Disease-free and medicine-free since surgery and very thankful to be healthy again.

esoR
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 4147
   Posted 9/21/2011 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
MIL must be blonde :-)

I can joke about this as i am blonde too.

Scariest thing I ever heard was an ER nurse say, "What's an ileostomy?" NOW THAT IS SCARRRRRY!

Rosemary

summerstorm
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 6571
   Posted 9/21/2011 9:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I have had a few funny ones

when my son was about 2 he asked me what was in that bag, and i said "poo" and he said, "how did winnie the pooh get in there!!!"

then a while later, we were in a public bathroom, and being a little boy, he wanted to see the poo, and he looked in the toilet before i could flush it, well i also had my period, and he saw it and screamed, 'oh my God Mommy you are bleeding to death in your poop!"
i wanted to stay in the bathroom forever!

The receptionist at my GI called and told me i needed to be screened for colon cancer, that everyone was at risk, i said, not me, she said, yes you are, just because you are young doesn't mean you can't get it. i said no, but since i dont have a colon im pretty sure i cant!

my funniest was at the dr recently, i went for an UTI, i told her i had a bag and all, and we talked for a minute, and she said, do you always wipe front to back? and i said, well with the bag that's not really necessary, and she said, ok i thought maybe they had left the rectum, and i said no it's gone. well she had me lay back so she could feel on my stomach, and she starts to press down and she says "now where did they put your rectum" i kind of looked at her funny, and she busted out laughing and says stoma! where did they put your stoma! she had obviously mispoken, but it was so funny!

And when i first got sick years ago, my dr said, i don't want to have to take your colon out, and i said, where will you put it? And he said, In the trash can. And i said, "well thats kind of gross I don't want it back after it's been in the trash!" and he said, we wouldnt put it back, and i said, "well won't i kind of die without it?" Now, keep in mind i was in the hospital on drugs!

Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 9/21/2011 11:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the good laughs for the night!!

I can never remember them much but I know I have had a few....I'm getting senile
Those things we keep trying to do get easier not because the feat gets easier but our ability to "do" gets better.
Thyroid cancer removed 1988
Stomach problems finally figured out 2001 Crohn's/Colitus
Tried every drug without much success
Colon/rectal cancer removed Aug 2009
6 Grown kids, grandkids and a great husband to keep me busy

B'Dereh
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Date Joined Jun 2011
Total Posts : 1912
   Posted 9/22/2011 3:31 PM (GMT -6)   
polishdan said...
A week after my colectomy I was back in with peritonitis. After surgery for that I was in my hospital room and a female Dr came in with two male interns and announced, while she snapped on her rubber glove, that she was going to do a prostate exam. I said "no you're not". She snapped back "yes I am". "No you're not, I don't have a colon". She looked very embarrased and her air of "I'm the boss" left her demeaner. Not another word and they left. She could have killed me.

Dan
Hi Dan,
 
I didn't look at your name before I read your post, so somehow thought you were a woman and that the female Dr. was really, really, really to total complete idiot wanting to check your prostate. Still, it's gratifying, particularly after being so helpless in hospitals, to let the doctor have it.

betsaronie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 9/25/2011 1:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I have had quite a few people say, "how can you live without a colon?" my response is always, "much better than with one!"

And for me its quite funny/sad that several people have asked, "Now what is a colon?" It baffles me that people have no idea what the colon is!
-diagnosed with UC Dec 2006 at 22
-allergic or intolerant to all 5ASAs, sulfa and 6-mp
-emergency transverse colostomy on 9/13/10 from perforated colon
-J-pouch surgery step 1 of 2 3/21/11
-Takedown 6/13/11
I <3 my J-pouch!

blueglass
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 3332
   Posted 9/25/2011 3:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Just the other day when I they were thinking I might have a hernia w/my small intestine, someone asked me if I was going to have my small intestine out too!
49 years old, female. Sick for way too long with Crohn's (or possibly UC) Proctocolectomy and permanent ileostomy in Feb 2011. Surgery for lingering perineal wound on Sept 26. Other than the wound, been feeling healthier than I have in years.

KVail
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 9/25/2011 4:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Today at church:  are you having it removed or moved?  Where do they move it to?
-Lifelonge chronic constipation, never identified as a child
-Const became "severe" in the last decade=BM maybe 2X mth
-Told it was "just the way I was wired"
-Multiple lax/enema/meds and diets
-Colonscopy in Aug, 2011 fine
-Sitzmark test late Aug 2011= 21 markers out of 24 markers after 5 days
-Colonic Inertia
-Sched for total colectomy 10/10, sm bowel to rectum, probably no bag
AFRAID!
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