"Going with the flow" is exactly what you have to do. I tried to make sure that I didn't get too up on the days when my Dad was doing well and, likewise, I tried not to get too down on days when he wasn't doing all that well. With my Mom, it was different. She went into the hospital because she had been having gas pains for a couple of weeks. When they ran some tests on her, she was severely anemic, so they had to give her a couple of pints of blood. The next morning, they ran some other tests that determined she had colon cancer that had spread to her liver and a little to her lungs. She declined to get chemo, preferring to spend her last days more comfortably. She went home to hospice and passed away a day and a half after she got home. From the time she went to the emergency room to the time she passed away was about a week and a half. So that, at least, reduced the pain the family had to endure. What's so tragic about my Mom is that she had asked her primary care physician, on a number of occasions, to refer her for a colonoscopy, not because she didn't feel well, but because she knew she should have one for "preventive maintenance". Her primary refused to refer her, saying she didn't need one. I realize that having a colonoscopy might not have saved her. Depending on the timing, the cancer may not have formed. I don't know. I do know that by NOT referring her for one, that doctor condemned my Mom to die from colon cancer. I just will never understand why he didn't see fit to refer her. I was going to write a formal complaint to the State Licensing Board, but since he had retired, it didn't seem to be of much use and it would have just hurt my family more to have to constantly think about it.
about me.....I had my surgery in 2010 when I returned from an extended trip overseas. For whatever reason, I had developed a volvulous, a condition where the intestines twist around on themselves. In my case, my Sigmoid Colon twisted 540 degrees, effectively shutting me off. They tried to untwist it with a colonoscopy, but they eventually had to operate and take about a foot and a half of my colon out. Because of the inflammation, my surgeon couldn't reconnect me right away, so I had an ileostomy for about two and a half months. The first week out of the hospital, I developed a small bowel obstruction that put me back in the hospital for another week. Then a week after that, I developed pneumonia (likely from the tube that was put down my throat). That plopped me back in for a week and a half and, during that time, I had a prolapse that had to be remedied surgically. All this time, my surgeon was trying to get me to gain weight, which further delayed the reconnect. I finally did get reconnected in July. My recovery went quite well and I was back to working out in the gym like nothing had happened by late August, right in time for my Mom's situation to hit me square between the eyes.
Everything is pretty much fine now medically. I'm still not over the loss of my parents, and I doubt I ever will fully be over them (at least I hope not).
Your folks have mine beat. My parents were together for 62 years. I truly do hope your parents have more years together.