I'm gonna give you a bit of tough love for a minute. Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to do something, like clean your room, or do your homework? But instead of just doing it, which would have taken 20 minutes, you pitched a fit and refused for an hour because it was wasting your time, but in the end you still had to clean your room, or do your homework.
You have a bag, no matter how much you worry, or get upset or feel bad for yourself, you are still going to have a bag. If you can pull yourself out of that and just do things, you wiill feel better. Stop worrying if the bag leaks, if it does, oh well. If it leaks in public chances are noone will even know what it is, noone would expect poop to be on someones front. They will just think you spilled some food.
As for your beach trip, you can't get all the way in the water, but nothing stops you from getting your legs in. I don't know exactly how what the wound thing on your stomach looks like, or how big it is, but I do know if someone looks at your stomach and sees an odd bulge they aren't gonna think, omg she has a bag! If they even notice and care enough to think, they will think its kleenex.
As for your bathing suit, I just wear tankinis with a skirt, in fact one is the same one I had before surgery. My clothes are the same I had before surgery. I understand how tucking your bag in your pants might seem weird but it will help with clothing. I just tuck it in my undies and fold it up. The only time I wear a belly band, you can get one at a maternity store, is if I'm wearing skirts. I don't really need it, I just do. Or if I'm wearing something tight and I want to hold it flat.
Can you go to a salon and have your hair washed really good? That will make you feel tons better! If you have a removeable shower head, wash your legs with it, wash each arm seperatelty. Does that make sense?
I never use any adhesive remover, I only use water. You've gotten two days now, don't automatically think its fixing to fail, just have a postive attitude about it! Which I know is easier said than done!
Like blueglass said think of five things you are grateful for each day, or even one thing! And yes you will get annoyed, I got annoyed just a few minutes ago, but then remembered if I didn't have the bag I wouldn't be worrying about drying it quickly to get to school to help out. Id be in the bathroom on the toilet! Yes I had time to process it and realize it was for the best, but if you had more time before the surgery, you still would have been sick. It may not seem this way but you actually.missed a lot of what most of us went through, wasted years with sickness and an agonizing decision of surgery or not. I actually hoped for an emergency situatuion so I wouldn't have to make the decision on my own.
Anyway, I rambled, moral of the story, be happy you are alive, accept the bag, and get on with life!
UC for 8 years, before finally kicking its butt and having a permanent ileostomy April 17 2007!
-I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i return, keep me here-
No matter what kind of day you are having, take five minutes to sing loudly and dance like a fool!