Great comments! They sound optimistic and heartfelt.
I can personally relate to what Blueglass just stated about
when you initally put yourself out there. Just after my separation from my husband, 2 small children ages 1 and 3, I tried to get out there. My first dating experience, it was our 2nd date, I told him I had children. Him being raised by his single mother, I thought he'd be sympathic. He told me I had 'obstacles' and he didn't want to waste his time in getting to know me because if he did, then he'd have to get to know my kids, and he didn't want that lifestyle. I was upset for a couple of days, then looked at it differently. I obviously didn't know him well and I did know from the beginning that he wasn't the guy to understand, so why did I bother to go out with him.
This teardown actually built me up in confidence and intuition. As the relationships went forward, I felt more confident in how I approached subjects.
2 months post-op, I tried dating. My friends thought I was crazy. Our first date, we went for a walk by the lake, and he hugged me when he separated. The next date, he asked me what is wrong. He knew there was something. He said, 'is it because I would not accept you because you have children?' He was a bit younger and no children. I said no, it's not that. He said, 'the other day when I hugged you, I could feel something, what is wrong with your abdomen?' I didn't know what to say. This surgery/ostomy is a new hurdle. I told him I had recent surgery, my wound was
open, it's all the gauze he felt. I didn't tell him about
the ostomy. He was kind, understanding, but I needed time to get to know him. I didn't want to tell him everything all at once. It's like talking about
my divorce, telling too much information can sometimes be viewed as a turn-off. We didn't date long, I didn't feel a connection with him, and about
my ostomy, I never said anything. I knew that he would be sympathetic, but he wasn't desirable in other aspects that I hold true for myself.
I haven't dated since, year and a half. But I'm always with my children, it's not easy. Don't let this bother you, you didn't do anything. Life is so unexpected, you never know what is around the corner