Posted 5/7/2013 4:48 PM (GMT -6)
Thank you folks! Appreciate the replies, genuinely.
Firstly, I did make it to the posh lunch today <_<. We went to Claridge's hotel, whose restaurant is currently run by Gordon Ramsay but not for much longer (7 more weeks; we suspect a falling out with the hotel, which would not remotely be a surprise). My parents got given a £150 gift voucher for Gordon Ramsay's restaurants for their 50th wedding anniversary last year. Took nearly a year but we finally made it to one. Anyway, the food was lovely. I had smoked haddock tortellini for starters (tad bland, couldn't taste much of the smoked haddock), maple-cured pork belly with various bits and bobs (could not taste any maple and the pork belly was a tad dry, but overall it was very nice), and a white chocolate and vanilla creme brulee with lemon madeleines (yum :p).
Afterwards, walked around the back streets of Mayfair, visited a beautiful church, stopped off at the Connaught hotel and was mugged, I mean charged, £26 for two half glasses of wine and £9 for a bottle of beer, then walked to Hyde Park. The weather was perfect by my standards; blue skies, sunny, but with enough of a breeze to keep it cool. I held up reasonably well for most of the day, but the walk back from Hyde Park to Oxford Street nearly killed me. So, so tired and my feet were hurting. Thank god my dad was also knackered and decided to get a cab from Oxford St to Euston!
The food and alcohol caught up with me this evening. I had some evil-looking pale output a couple of hours ago, plus I felt a bit sick and trembly. I still feel wiped out. But I don't regret going!
Re depression. Yes, I know now that surgery was not the answer to my depression! :-/ To be fair, I don't think I ever thought about it quite that crudely. But I was obviously hoping to feel somewhat better than this. Instead, it's like I have to learn from scratch how to deal with depression all over again :-/ My experience is that fighting against depression takes a lot of energy in its own right; it's easier in many ways just to submit to it and be depressed. That's why in my opinion it's important to make yourself as healthy as you can be: get enough sleep, don't eat too much crap, or too little food, etc. It's no secret that I'm sleeping dreadfully at the moment, but I've made a commitment to be in bed by 1am at the latest every night. (For me 1am is relatively early: I am a night owl). At the moment, some nights I'm in bed by 12:30am, other nights not until 3am, so I'm going to try to make bedtime more consistently early.
Obviously that won't be enough on its own, but it's a start. I've been referred to an IBD psychologist at the hospital, but referrals can take months :-/ I'll chase it up much sooner than that if I don't hear anything, though. My GP knows I am depressed and is sympathetic to my plight, but I feel like he has reached the limits of what he can do. I asked him if he could refer me to a psychologist outside of the area (for reasons too long to go into to) and he basically said no. I can apply to any hospital in the country, but not to any mental health centre outside of my postal code area, apparently. I need to look more into that; not entirely satisfied with my GP's answer.
NHS aside, the only other things I can think of for now are depression support groups and online forums. Not quite ready for that yet though; I'll see how the rest of this week goes!
Again, thanks everyone. Sorry I didn't reply individually. This reply took me forever as it was, believe it or not >_>. And 'cos it's already nearly midnight, this'll probably be my last reply of the night too.