Yay, at least one person is happy at the sight of me! :p
Good old CD indeed >_<.
I'll see how it goes over the next few days. It seems like my negativity wears everyone else down, while I feel like their positivity wears me down in turn. I need time and space to feel like total crap, without having to pretend that surgery was the best decision I ever made in my life. Or being patronised over my depression issues and not-so-subtly made to feel that if I wasn't such a screw-up I'd be happy with the surgery just like everybody else.
Out of interest, how do you feel about having an ostomy? When did you have yours done in fact? The first question is rather personal, now I think about it. I won't mind in the least if you'd rather not say.
I've made peace (somewhat) with my ileostomy in the almost 8 years I've had it (elective surgery). I still have days that I question my decision, but in the end I know I really did not have a choice if I were to have any quality of life (still is not the best but better than it was
). CD flares, abcesses and fistuale were the bane of my existence for many years.
Complicating my situation is the fact I only have a few feet of small intestine remaining (my ostomy was located on my left side in an effort to preserve as much small intestine as possible). According to the drs., it is 'almost' a jejunostomy. I did not know this would be the outcome prior to my ileostomy surgery and had I known, I probably would not have gone forward with it. When the surgeon
opened me up, he discovered much more of my small intestine had been removed in a previous (1997) emergency surgery for an intestinal obstruction (different hospitals/different surgeons) than had been documented in my medical file.
Suffice it to say that whatever could have gone wrong after the ostomy surgery, did
- including a DVT and PE a week later followed by numerous hospitalizations for malabsorption and dehydration leading to stage 3 kidney disease. When I was hospitalized with the PE/DVT, it was discovered I have the lupus anticoagulant factor (something of a misnomer in itself) and am on lifetime Coumadin (blood thinner) therapy - a challenge in and of itself for someone who has absorption issues.
I do have to say I have not had much trouble with my ileostomy working properly - I've not had any obstructions and can eat quite a wide variety of foods (I was careful to introduce certain foods back into my diet gradually). What does hold me back is that my ileostomy is high output (I was *thisclose* to long term TPN) - if I have to leave the house for any amount of time, I have to take an opiate (15-30 mg. codeine sulfate) and not eat anything solid (water or Gatorade only) for a few hours before. It takes a lot of planning to be away from home but I do manage to get out and about
a couple times a week. It could be worse