Posted 8/18/2013 12:31 PM (GMT -7)
It has been so long since I've posted here. I still check in to read from time to time, lately it has been more often.
I had my total colectomy w/ileorectal anastomosis November of 2011. I still had some issues, but was feeling great overall. I took milk of magnesia pretty much nightly and it worked so well. I felt great all day, and was comfortable. I started working a few months after my surgery, full time. I was promoted a couple times and my company moved me up to New Jersey this past May. It was a big move for me, as I don't know ANYONE up here, no family, nothing. But I kept my head down and worked hard. Now about 3 months later I am finally settling in and my stomach has started to bother me again. At first I thought it was just a blip, but it's bee bothering me now for about 3-4 weeks. I feel some days like I did pre-surgery: bloated, uncomfortable, belly is visibly bloated/sticking out, tired...etc. I was able to eat a little here and there before without feeling bloated and miserable, but since my stomach started bothering me again I can't do that anymore. I have also gained 6lbs since moving here which doesn't help me feel any better. I don't want to be social, just want to zone out and watch tv alone.
The Milk of Magnesia does not work like it used to, before, I would take it a few hours before I planned to wake up for the day, drink lots of water, and it had worked and I felt great within 4 hours. Now I take it, and it either half works, but I am still bloated all day...OR, it works a little, but then seems like it is working incorrectly - and all the water I drink with it makes me have to PEE instead of working to help me have a BM. This morning I probably drank half a gallon of water and must've had to pee 9+ times within 3 hours.
I don't know why this is happening, why would milk of magnesia suddenly stop working like this? Could it be stress? Anyone else had this experience?
It is my birthday today, and I have been in my bed in tears since I woke up. I am so depressed and REALLY miss my family right now. I can get through the work day ok, but my days off really are hard. I just am so very homesick and its hard when I don't feel well and don't even have anyone to give me a hug.
I'm in a great place job-wise right now and so many people would kill for my position. I am worried that my stomach will get the best of me and I will fail and all of this hard work and the surgery and the move will be a waste. But days like this I really want to go home. I don't have a doctor here, and I only just the other day broke down on the phone with my mom and cried. It has been so hard for me to tell anyone I haven't felt well because I am in denial, and they were with me through the worst of it and really thought it was all behind me. So did I.
I guess I just needed to vent, and to see if anyone had any advice. At least say a prayer for me.