No j-pouch will ever be as convenient as having a perfectly functioning GI system, but no ileostomy will be either. I've had both, and there are inconveniences and pros and cons to each. Which one is "better" is absolutely different for different people, there's no clear answer.
Some hospitals seem to use manometry all the time (it's listed as part of the pre-op procedure for *everyone* who gets a j-pouch at Cleveland Clinic, no matter how long they've had an ostomy), others rarely (I've never had it performed). I've read on j-pouch.org postings from people who had weak sphincter readings on manometry after just a couple of years with the ostomy. Since you're already feeling so indecisive, I just think it can only help to have some more and powerful information about
which option is better for your body.
dx'ed UC pancolitis 5/12
past meds: asacol hd, VSL#3, apriso, rowasa, xifaxan, 6mp, cortifoam, pentasa, cimzia, canasa, butyrate, flagyl, cipro, prednisone, remicade, methotrexate, cholestyramine, cortenema
current meds: none!
step one: colectomy, end ileo 1/16/13
step two: j-pouch construction, loop ileo 5/1/13
step three: takedown 7/31/13