I too am sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. I hope your next surgery goes well. I decided with the help of this forum to go with the perm ileo. Great decision for me. Back to playing tennis, working out at the gym, and more; and doing all of it pain and complication free! No butt burn, pouchitis, blockages, urgency, etc. So many folks that have had the j-pouch have multiple ongoing problems like those above and yet always say how much they love their j-pouch.
Whatever. Hang in. Things will get better.
UC for 10 years, last two+ had the never ending flare from hell. Tried the usual meds, pills, steroids, biologics, diet, supplements and nothing worked. Had perm ileostomy Feb of 2017. Feel great!