Chertuc, Just when it seems the world is falling in around you, you will find that it is merely an illusion and things have only gone to crap temporarily. As you normally do, you will ride out the storm, and things will turn out the way they need too. I am in week 9 now of post take down and believe it or not, for Fathers day last night I had a hamburger off the grill, with Dorito's chips and you aren't going to believe this, I actually had sliced cucumber and celery stuffed with cream cheese and garlic. Mmmmmmm. Things I thought up until yesterday, I would never eat again. Yes. Vegetables. Raw ones at that. I figured it was Fathers day so what the hell. I'll pay for it on the toilet anyway, I might as well go the full gammit. Well, I didn't pay for it. My system did fine with it so that renews my hope.
You too will be at this point and realize just how liberating it is to be without the bag. Yes, it will be rough the first couple of weeks, but it WILL get better. I had my whole colon and rectum removed and had a temp ileo. You will get through this, it's just pre-surgery jitters. So hang in there. I alway's tell folks that God never gives us more than we can handle, he just seems to be giving me extra attention right now.