I will try and answer your questions but also recommend you visit www.j-pouch.org
1. I assume that you have your pouch made and all you need is to close the stoma? No, this surgery is far less painful as 99% of the time they complete the work via the stoma and there are no other incisions.
2. My frequency at 5 years post surgery is about 5-7X per day. As quick as it is to urinate is how long it takes to empty my pouch. There is no urgency.
3. Right following surgery both frequency and urgency can be high but it gets better. I returned to work 3 weeks post surgery and saw improvement in my new plumbing in 6 week increments over the first year.
4. I can tell the difference between gas and stool. However, that took time. The best advice I can give you is if you choose the reversal you will need to be patient with the process. It takes time for the small intestine to learn how to behave like a colon. For me it was worth it, I didn't ever get along with my ileostomy. I recommend that you get educated on the reversal. Talk with people who have gone through it so you clearly understand the recovery process. I think it's harder for those who have had a longer period of time between surgeries as you feel so good now you don't want to go backwards.
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998
1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics
2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic
2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free