Romance after Ostomy

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 11/9/2006 2:05 PM (GMT -6)   
After 5 roller-coaster years of marriage I finally divorced my husband, 2 years after my surgeries for the permanent ileostomy. Within a month of the separation I met Mr. Practially Perfect at our church/spiritual center, and I am in heaven (we both are.)

I have gained 45 lbs over my pre-surgical, sick, undernourished weight, a weight at which my ex thought I was incredibly sexy and gorgeous (5'6" and 120lbs, I now see that I looked absolutely AWFUL!)

I have a bag, a huge scar, a sewed-up butt, weigh 165 lbs, and William thinks I'm a perfect-bodied sex goddess! tongue He is constantly stopping what he's doing, esp. when I walk into the room, and he tears up and says, "Do you have any idea how absolutely GORGEOUS you are?!"

He loves to see me change my bag because he thinks my stoma is "cute", and when we sit and watch TV together he plays with it through my bag!

Then, the other night he was kissing me all over my tummy, and I felt something like pressure on my stoma... he had kissed it! (through the bag of course nono )

I started to cry... He asked why, I said I felt so loved. He said, "I love 100% of your body, not just 98 or 99%!"

My ex never touched the bag, wasn't employed so he was home all the time, but in 2 years was in the bathroom maybe 3-4 times when I was changing my bag... it's not like he seemed disgusted by it, but William makes sure I know not only isn't it something to shy away from, but it's something about me he actively loves.

When he went to his first of my ostomy meetings, I introduced him as "my new boyfriend, who wasn't scared off by my bag"... Then he started joking that he should introduce me to people as his "girlfriend, who sh**s in a bag..."

He is an incredibly spiritual, healed, mature, loving, expressive, kind, calm, playful man, and he loves me totally!

And... we're getting married this December 29th.
UC age 10 - 1 yr
UC age 35 - 42 on and off
UP (Proctitis) age 42-46
sudden onset UC age 46 leading to colectomy 1/13/04 - proctectomy 7/8/04
Life now...  Great!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 11/9/2006 2:34 PM (GMT -6)   
I see the basics of my story were posted on another thread already, but it's been locked... and I wanted people to know it's possible to have this surgery and go on and have an incredible life. I've also done some really wonderful international travel that never would have been possible when I was chronically ill with UC and UP, like go paragliding off a Swiss Alp at 2600 ft, spend 3 weeks traveling around India, or go to Asia for 2 weeks -- all in 7 months last year! and I'm returning to India for 3 weeks in February of '07, and plan to visit my last continent, Africa, in the next few years (no later than 2011, the year after William retires.)

This surgery not only *saved my life*, it *gave* me a life!


<FONT color=#800080>UC age 35 - 42 on and off

<FONT color=#800080>sudden onset UC age 46 leading to c

<FONT color=#800080>



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 4147
   Posted 2/9/2007 6:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Meilandra...You answered one of my questions. I am an avid traveller and wondered if I could travel with an iliostomy. Thanks, esoR
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, September 20, 2018 9:24 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,005,301 posts in 329,211 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 161767 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Titanium-Girl.
318 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
logoslidat, Sarge 83, Kent M., GoBucks, delta30, Pratoman, csantamaria, savena, CAdogsRus, Roadranger82, fiddlecanoe