After 5 roller-coaster years of marriage I finally divorced my husband, 2 years after my surgeries for the permanent ileostomy. Within a month of the separation I met Mr. Practially Perfect at our church/spiritual center, and I am in heaven (we both are.)
I have gained 45 lbs over my pre-surgical, sick, undernourished weight, a weight at which my ex thought I was incredibly sexy and gorgeous (5'6" and 120lbs, I now see that I looked absolutely AWFUL!)
I have a bag, a huge scar, a sewed-up butt, weigh 165 lbs, and William thinks I'm a perfect-bodied sex goddess!
He is constantly stopping what he's doing, esp. when I walk into the room, and he tears up and says, "Do you have any idea how absolutely GORGEOUS you are?!"
He loves to see me change my bag because he thinks my stoma is "cute", and when we sit and watch TV together he plays with it through my bag!
Then, the other night he was kissing me all over my tummy, and I felt something like pressure on my stoma... he had kissed it! (through the bag of course
I started to cry... He asked why, I said I felt so loved. He said, "I love 100% of your body, not just 98 or 99%!"
My ex never touched the bag, wasn't employed so he was home all the time, but in 2 years was in the bathroom maybe 3-4 times when I was changing my bag... it's not like he seemed disgusted by it, but William makes sure I know not only isn't it something to shy away from, but it's something about
me he actively loves.
When he went to his first of my ostomy meetings, I introduced him as "my new boyfriend, who wasn't scared off by my bag"... Then he started joking that he should introduce me to people as his "girlfriend, who sh**s in a bag..."
He is an incredibly spiritual, healed, mature, loving, expressive, kind, calm, playful man, and he loves me totally!
And... we're getting married this December 29th.
UC age 10 - 1 yr
UC age 35 - 42 on and off
UP (Proctitis) age 42-46
sudden onset UC age 46 leading to colectomy 1/13/04 - proctectomy 7/8/04
Life now... Great!!!