I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I know, from my own personal experience, that living with bowel problems can be shameful and or embarrassing. I have a jpouch due to refractive ulcerative colitis. I don't know what your health history is but have you thought of converting from a colostomy to a j-pouch? Some of the problems you have currently (having to use the loo after each meal) might continue but you won't have to worry about accidents with a bag failure. A trick I use when I am involved in all day physical activity (I hike 100-200 mile stints) is to take lomotil. It slows down the peristalisis and allows me to reduce my frequency. I could take it daily but I prefer to use it only when I am involved in excessive physical exercise.
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998
1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics
2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic
2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free