I need help guys....why are none of you responding?

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krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/15/2007 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
 
My name is Krissie...I posted a new thread yesterday.  I am new to having a colostomy....I am having a huge problem dealing with all things related emotionally.  And as of two days ago,I started having something different happening.  Right after the colostomy was placed.....I had the big D....like I have had for over 10 years.  Then things were loose, but had some formation.  Now I am having the big D like never before.  So bad that one poop and so much came out it tore the bag off in one area and I had stool running down my leg and since, every 1-2 hours I am either rinsing out the bag or I am changing it..and I am going through them like candy.....and they are too expensive and I am on disability.  Medicare only pays 80% after I pay upfront and I don't have any more moola left.
I do have anxiety and OCD, so I am always on top of this and I am so anxious that I am not sleeping for fear of more accidents.
 
Could someone talk to me..I saw that 20 people looked at my post, but no one responded confused
Krissie

Pin Cushion
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 442
   Posted 1/15/2007 4:13 PM (GMT -7)   
You say you are new to a colostomy. If it is real new, your body just needs time to adjust to the changes.
If it has been a while it could be diet related. You may need to go on a low residue diet again and slowly add the different foods back.
Did you doctor send you to a dietian? Spend some time surfing the net on the subject of low reside diet.

As far as the views are concerend. Many of them are just from google searches for key words.
And we are on the end of a long weekend.

Wishing you well
AL
Moderator for the Diabetes forum
 
Sigmoid Colostomy / Crohns / Type 1 Diabetic / Ostioarthritus / Fibromyalgia / Asthma / High Blood Pressure / High Colesterol / Migraines. Ain't life a joy?



* I think it may be time for a colorful metaphor*


vette guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 1/15/2007 10:11 PM (GMT -7)   

You need time to adjust. Physically and, most importantly, emotionally. Believe me, I know. I'm a 46 year old guy and I have had an ostomy for the last 17 years. I thought at the time my world was over. Shortly after my surgery I attempted suicide. Boy am I glad it didn't take. I have Crohn's and my life is much better than it was before my surgery. I'm just glad I realized it before it was too late.

Krissie, see if your local ostomy assocaition will be meeting soon. It will help you with dietary solutions as well as what may be the best appliance for you. But, to me the best thing about the meetings was seeing the other folks that live with an ostomy. You'd be amazed and you would never suspect that they had the same surgery as you. I had a colostomy for 15 years that was changed to an ileostomy in '04.  I can honestly say that I would never change back to my "normal " body. I lead a very active life style, own a gorgeous house on a golf course, and I have all the "toys" that success can afford me. I live the life that the unsuspecting person would be envious of.

Krissie, be patient and give yourself time to adjust. You've earned it.


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/15/2007 10:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi vette Guy,
 
Thanks for your imput, I need lots of it.  I had tried to post a few days ago, b/c I am also having a lot of self-esteem issues and you seeem like the type of guy I can ask.  I lost 2 husband due to my disease and how gross I was.  Now that Ihave the colostomy and a huge scar down my abdomen, I hate even seeing myself.  How doI meet a nice man that would not be digusted by me?  How does that ever get brought up?  I hate to be alone and have been for a few years...and at 37, I still have a lot of years..good years to have, especially if this works.  I need lots of advice in all aspects of this entire thing.  I am o.k. with the appliance.  I am having trouble fitting it so it sticks well under the stoma.  I see the ostomy nurse Wed., and I see my surgeon Wed. as well.  They said they would get that all fixed up for me ASAP.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Krissie
 
 

suebear
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5698
   Posted 1/16/2007 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Krissie,

Before even attempting to meet that "nice" man you are going to need to get yourself back in order, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I would make meeting a man a very low prioity at this point. You need to get your self confidence back and become a strong independent woman and then the right man will appear. I am glad to hear you have an appt. with an ET nurse, they will get your appliance problems fixed. I also agree that going to ostomy support meetings is very beneficial, and of course, keep talking with people online.

Sue
dx proctitis in 1987
dx UC in 1991, was stable until 1998
1998 started prednisone, asacol, pentasa, nortriptylene, ativan, 6MP, rowasa enemas and suppositories, hydrocortisone enemas, tried the SCD diet, being a vegetarian, omega 3s, flax, pranic healing, yoga, acupuncture, probiotics
2000 lost all my B-12 stores and became anemic
2001 opted for j-pouch surgery- now living life med-free
 


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/16/2007 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sue,
 
Thank you for responding to my posting......I know in my head that I have to get my self-confidence back before getting into a relationship.....I have always had a low self-esteem, which got worse when I originally got sick 10-12 years ago and my ex started cheating and such.  I started to feel better about me when I met my second ex.......he said all the right things and then when I got sicker he too hit the road.  I know that I do not need a man or anyone else to validate me, but I am having a hard time.  I do go to therapy every month sometimes twice.  I am on meds for depression as well as anxiety .  I am also on meds for my illness and pain meds.
 
I need all the help I can get......Hope to talk with you again.
 
 
Krissie


vette guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 650
   Posted 1/16/2007 9:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Krissie. Low self esteem can be a weight on your shoulders that gets heavier and heavier. You blame your illness for your 2 failed marriages. Did you ever think you married a couple of jerks??? They sound like jerks to me. Whatever you choose to do, don't do it alone. There's a lot of support out there. Also, don't stay home all day and sulk. Motion brings emotion. Sounds cliche but it's true.

Stay in touch.


Rock50
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 264
   Posted 1/16/2007 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
All right Krissie I knew if we kept the faith these people would help you and I think they have given you some great advise. Girl it's time to get over some of those bad feeling you have been packing around. Try to start being greatful for some of the thing you have going for you and these people are pointing them out to you. You are tough and will make it. You have got people from one end of this web site to the other supporting you. So lets get started and you fall in love with life again, never mind a man. If you paid attention I said "LETS" get going, that means you are not alone and we all will be here for you.

Now in this short time you already have some great suggestions to correct two of the thing that you told me that were really bothering you. You have been told when to expect the man you have been waiting for and secondly, you are no longer alone, myself and all these other good people are here for you. Pretty good start don't you think.

Tell Lyn I said hello and I'll be in touch. GO GET'EM GIRL!

KEEP THE FAITH
ERIC

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1250
   Posted 1/19/2007 7:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Krissie

Sometimes, people read but have no answer for you and so don't post. Don't get discouraged, it doesn't mean they don't care, just that they have no suggestions for you at this time.

I don't live in the USA so really can't comment on the insurance situation which is why I haven't responded :( However, yesterday I came across http://www.ostogroup.org/ which is an organisation which collects left over supplies from people and distribute them to people without insurance within the US. It might be worth checking it out.

I agree with Pin Cushion, your body does need time to adjust to it's new plumbing. I've also heard there is a bug going around the US that is causing diarrhea (several of my ostomy buddies have had it) so it may (hopefully) just be a temporary thing. Just be sure to drink lots of water so you stay hydrated.

As for the guys, try being on your own for a while and looking after YOU! The guy will come later when you're feeling better and well enough to choose the right one :)

Take care and I hope it works itself out soon.
I have had an ileostomy for 30 years now due to UC.
 
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
_______________________________________________
 
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!


krissie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 1/19/2007 8:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shaz,
 
I don't know your name....I didn't see it when on your post.  Thanks for the talk.  I realize I have to get used to this and it is new, but it is really hard.  I am 37 and still feel like 24.....I lool like it also; at least that is what I have been told...Soooooo, seeing myself like this and embarrassed that I smell...I am meticulous about cleaning and everything.
 
Hey, wondering if maybe u had any idea about this.  I am 5 weeks p.o. and Wed., coming hoe from the surgeons..my post-op visit, I took a huge spill and landed hard !!!! My right side is very colorful, but a few hours after my fall, I got up and my ride side and middle section of my belly hurt like hell.  then a few hours later, it hurt to even talk.....they think that I just pulled a muscle...but tonight I have had liguid stool..tan to light brown coming from my butt.  I called the doc on call and he was sure it was mucous..I know it isn't.....I know what mucous is....what do u think it could be?  should I go to the er?  I have had more tummy pain since the fall and no bleeding, but do u think after 5 weeks I cold have opened something small and it is leaking slowly???????  Hope you have a thought to share.
 
 
 thanks so much  !!!!!
 
 
Krissie


Rock50
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 264
   Posted 1/19/2007 10:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Krissie,

Are you posting on any other sites. I have not seen you lately. Looks like you are picking up some friends, slowly but surely. Don't forget where are you posting?

KEEP THE FAITH
ERIC

Shaz032
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1250
   Posted 1/20/2007 2:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Krissie, my name is Sharon but everyone calls me Shaz :)

It sounds like you have pulled a muscle but keep an eye on it just in case. I'm betting that what you're passing is mucous too - it shows that everything is still working as it should be back there. "Bowel intact" people pass mucous all the time - they just don't examine their poop that closely and so don't notice it - it's what helps everything slide along nicely. Mucous from your rectum after surgery often looks a brownish colour - it could be that there's some old blood from your surgery mixed in there. If it's bright red, that means fresh blood and that's when you start to worry :)

You'll probably still pass the brownish mucous from time to time - as I said, it just shows that's what is left is still doing it's job properly (unfortunately, it's something the doctors often forget to warn you about and sends some people into a panic because they feel that nothing should be coming via the rectum after surgery). It's usually (but not always) accompanied by the dreaded Phantom Rectal Pain. This just means that you still feel the need to go to the loo in the 'old' way even though you know you can't - your body has to get used to it's new plumbing. It's like when someone has a limb amputated but can still 'feel' it when the missing hand or foot is itchy.

I'm 40 years old and have had my ileo since I was 10 years old so I know how you're feeling on the 'guy' front. Believe me, the majority of guys will have no problem with your ostomy when you're ready to start dating again. Nowhere in any personal ads have I ever seen "must be tidy, have a sense of humour, and poop via your rectum and anus". How you poop is simply not an issue for most people.

With any ostomy surgery, I've always said it's 30% physical and 70% mental. The body image part is the hardest part of the surgery to get over. With time and a lot of support, you'll soon realise that you're the same person you always were. Just like some people wear glasses to correct an eyesight problem, some people wear bags to correct a bowel problem - and our advantage is that no one knows we have a bag unless we tell them :)

I'm betting you don't smell - you're just more conscious of it now you have an ostomy esp since your nose is right over the top of your bag when you empty whereas before when it was coming from behind, the smell had further to travel to get to your nose. I've found the easiest (and cheapest) way to eliminate odour when you empty is to put a few drops of 3% hydrogen peroxide into my bag when I empty (no stronger than the 3% which is used for cuts and scrapes) and next time I empty there is no odour at all!

If you're experiencing odour other than when emptying, it's a good indication that you're developing a leak somewhere and it's time to change. With today's appliances, there really is no need for you to 'smell' in normal everyday activities.

Hope this helps - I've added you to Yahoo Messenger so, hopefully, we can chat next time we're both online together.


I have had an ileostomy for 30 years now due to UC.
 
Moderator of the Ostomy Forum
_______________________________________________
 
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts of me are missing!

Post Edited (Shaz032) : 1/20/2007 2:55:56 AM (GMT-7)


EricaM
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 1/21/2007 10:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Krissie!

I am new to the forum but not new to the ostomy! I am glad to hear that you have an appointment with the ostomy nurse. I haven't had many problems with my ostomy leaking however if your stool is watery you might want to try eating marshmellows to thicken it up a bit. Regarding the insurance I am now facing the same issue since my husband's company switch health insurance providers. I haven't found a way around it either.

Regarding self image I can completely relate. I was 32 when I had my ostomy, I am now 35. Originally my ostomy was to be temporary, however, six months later it was decided that I was no longer a candidate for the drop down surgery. Man, I cried, felt ugly, and my esteem came crashing down. But in time I built myself back up and I am sure in time you will be there too. No one knows I have an ostomy unless I tell them...funny side story. I live in Chicago near a large college. There are a lot of college kids who rent apartments on my street. I see them every day when I walk my dogs and chat with them from time to time. At a Christmas party this year I found out my nickname-Hot Neighbor! That was the best Christmas gift I got!

If you find yourself in a situation with a new guy my advice when you tell him about you ostomy try not to make a big deal of it. The majority of people don't know what an ostomy so if a big deal is made over it when you tell them it might startle them. We all fear rejection......I went through this when I was dating and I had an illness I was dealing with when I was single. I was always scared to mention it. Sometimes I stayed in a bad relationship because all my cards were out on the table with that person and I was scared to start all over. But I pick myself up and put myself out there. I eventually met my husband. When I got really sick and my colon was removed he was there. For the first few years when we were intimate I spent a lot of money at Victoria's Secret on camisoles and other lingerie. I also fold my ostomy up 3 times and tape it down with athletic tape.

Good luck at the doctors!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/22/2007 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Glad to see these great ppl giving their input and support
Take care hun am calling you tonight ( mon) or first thing in am ( tues ) k
Love ya lots
Sis
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