Nursy, have you measured your stoma lately? The most common reason for the stoma going a pale colour is that it's not getting enough blood supply. The most common reason for this is people cutting the hole in their wafer too small (this can cause the spasming too).
Try cutting it a little bigger and giving your stoma a bit more room. It may actually expand a bit more (ie swell up) as it regains it's proper blood supply once you cut the wafer bigger (just keep cutting it bigger to accommodate it if it does). The swelling usually goes down within a few days and your stoma goes back to its normal size.
If cutting the wafer a bit bigger doesn't make your stoma go back to it's normal colour with a few hours, then seek medical advice.
I have had an ileostomy for 31 years now due to UC.