First off, I am so sorry you're husband is having such a time, and it's great for you to be so supportive, some people would not. My husband has been great, I have been lucky, in fact, three months post surgery, he is still the one that changes my bag for me.
Anyway, the gas should go away, mine went away after about 3 weeks, have him take gas-x that should help some. I like to try to eat fries or something kind of starchy, that seems to slow down the output. Having bags with cloth will probably help more than anything, I was so grossed out having to look at that stuff! Plus at first it's really nasty looking, it will change color and consitenicy (sp) after a while, and it will not smell quite as bad! I put those gel tabs in when I go someplace, they help alot. It's a little harder to clean it out, but they help it to not bulge. As for clothes, for about a month I couldn't stand to wear anything, and my stomach is still tender, not too bad, but until just recently sometimes it would hurt just to have a t-shirt rub on it.
I can wear my old clothes, but I right now I am wearing a 10 instead of an 8, it is bigger on me but it seems to be better for me, I just tuck the bottom of the bag into my undies, and then wear a regular shirt, my shirts usually come down a fairly good ways. But they don't cover the whole area the bag is in. I also put some mouthwash in there, but haven't found it really does anything, however i do use it to clean the tail, helps with the germs!