i think most people on here will tell you that they are much happier now, and that they wish they would have done it sooner, I sure wish i had, i wasted 8 years being sick and trying different things, before i fianlly said, this is crazy, and had the surgery.
The surgery itself, and the recovery isn't really fun, but even while recovering i felt better than i had in years, and now life is back to normal (well close anyway, lol) again!
I don't blame you for not wanting to try the different meds, i really didn't try alot of them, and when I decided to do this, my GI said, oh well why don't you try this and this and this, and I said, no i want it OUT. My thought was, not only from the side effects, but here i was gonna waste more time, and be sick longer, trying meds that might work, and then what if they quit working, or I could have this surgery that would work, and would "cure" me so it was an easy decision for me. I would think that, at 40, you are pretty comfortable with yourself and your body, so the adjustment might not be that hard, and if you are having a j-pouch the bag will only be temporary, i chose the permanent bag, because i didn't want to worry about the problems that j-pouches can have, or the extra surgeries.
Bottom line, you will feel much better and be happier after the surgery!