ConsideringABag - Just think how much better you will feel not having to have multiple surgeries. And how much different your life will be when you can be pain free, not look for a bathroom everywhere you go, eat whenever you want, and the list goes on. I, too, was single and young when I had my surgery. The guy I was dating was just so glad to see me out of pain and happy and able to eat and enjoy life. I became a much different person.
Sure, I had my "down" days. Honestly, I think we all do. Especially early on. Yes, I really hated the looks of my body for a while, but that is such a small price to pay to be alive and healthy again. It is not that I don't care about how I look. I do. But I mourned the loss of a body part and let it go. I've said this before - an ostomy is a life altering event, but getting rid of the disease and intestine is well worth it to be able to move on with your life. I wouldn't go back to that horrible pain and discomfort now if I had the option.
Best of luck to you with your upcoming surgery. You have been through a lot at a very young age. My CD was finally diagnosed at 17. Multiple surgeries. Ileostomy by 24. You and your surgeon seem to have a good relationship. He seems to be honest with you and you are wise to be researching and getting answers to the questions that are important to you. Hope what I've said helps in some way. Take care,