I'm sorry you're having problems.
I've been using the Coloplast Extended Wear wafers for over a year, and they come off easily when I use the adhesive remover wipes. I peel back a small area at the top and use the wipe to slowly remove the rest of the wafer. I've never tried removing one without a wipe. Companies will send free samples, if you want to try another brand to see if it works better with your skin.
Dx'd w/ Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Pain-free, med-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)