I'm so sorry that you've been having health troubles.
I know exactly what you're going through, because your situation is just like mine was. I had 3 good years with Remicade, and then my body developed a resistance to it, so it stopped working. That's when I developed a fistula and an abscess on my right butt cheek. It was so painful that it had to be surgically
opened up, which left me with an
open wound on my butt for several months and intense IV antibiotic therapy to avoid a serious infection.
That's when the surgeon recommended a temporary ileostomy to bypass my colon, so that the butt wound could heal without getting infected. They also said that there was a 50/50 chance that my colon might heal. I agreed to the surgery, only because I knew it was temporary. Anyways, the wound on my butt healed, but my colon never did.
I ended up really liking the ileostomy and the freedom it gave me from always having to be near a bathroom. After 8 months of being bypassed, my colon started bleeding nonstop. That's when I called my surgeon and scheduled to have my colon and rectum removed and to keep the ileostomy permanently. That was a year ago, and I have never regretted it. I was sick with Crohn's for 7 years prior to surgery, and now I am completely healthy.
I don't think it's right that your doctor is against surgery. He's not having to live with the pain of Crohn's and abscesses. He should just present the facts to you and let you make that decision. To be honest, I don't need to see any doctors right now, because I am not taking any medicines and am feeling great. They are there if I need them, but I don't need them right now. Keep in mind that doctors don't make any money if you are well and don't need them.
I suggest making an appointment with a colorectal surgeon to talk about
the possibility of getting a temporary ileostomy. The surgery is no big deal and many people are out of the hospital in a couple of days. They mainly keep you there until the stoma wakes up from surgery and starts working. Once it's working, you're on your way! You have tried all of the medicines out there, just like I did, and if they are not working for you, then surgery is the logical next step.
Good luck, and keep us posted!
Dx'd w/ Crohn's in '99 at age 28. Proctocolectomy and ileostomy in '06.
Pain-free, med-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)