Well, here we are. Week 9. I spent last week begging for a colostomy and my colorectal surgeon watched me attempt to have a BM and walked out saying "this is miserable, I'm on board."
Then i went to my head surgeon, the GYN and he pledged to do it laprascopically but asked me to wait just one week...one week. My father pledged to do ****su massage to my abdomen and back and buttocks to facilitate elimination.
And you know what...it's working. I've turned that corner I never expected to encounter, the one where I'm just tired as hell but I'm not miserable. I'm back on valium, my anxiety levels went through the roof in the past two weeks, but I'm eating a fairly 'normal' diet (level 4 atkins, plenty of protein for formed stool, but some cooked veggies and lots of liquids). I'm still homebound most f the time but that is due to fatigue more than anything.
I am training my intestines, abdominal muscles and rectal muscles trhough breathwork and massage and I've not ruled out electric feedback training in a few months.
It is occurring to me that I have had 6 surgeries this summer, all withint 30-45 days of one another and 5 of the six were MAJOR surgeries. I feel like I'm one week out of surgery, not 9. Just tired. But happy to be alive. No work clearance but I can be the boss from home.
I'm alive and I"m not miserable. That's Week 9 report...I hope it helps someone out there.