It's completely normal to feel scared, but I can assure you that everything is going to be just fine, and you are going to feel so much better once you're rid of that diseased colon. I also had fistulizing Crohn's and avoided surgery for 7 years, but those were also scary years, because I never knew when I was going to be in a horrible flare.
I had ileostomy surgery in February 2006 to rest my badly diseased colon, but it flared 8 months later, so I had it removed in October 2006. It was the best decision I've ever made. I knew that the Crohn's was gone the day after surgery, because the pain that I had felt before surgery was gone! I had a different kind of pain from the surgery, but knew that it would go away as I healed.
I have not had to take any medicine since surgery and feel better than I did before I got sick, because now I really appreciate my good health. Before Crohn's, I was completely healthy but took it for granted.
Having an ostomy is so much easier than having Crohn's. Everybody poos... we just do it differently!
Just think, you'll never have to run to the bathroom again!
Please ask us any questions that you may have and keep us posted on how you're doing.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Dx'd Crohn's in '99 at 28. Proctocolectomy & ileostomy in '06. Remission since surgery.
Pain-free, med-free, and very thankful to be healthy again :)