Thanks Lizzy, I know for sure we can make a difference.
By the way, there is something important to me I'd appreciate your help with. Yekkimo, this is for you too.
As you know, this illness has many issues we have to deal with, one of them is the social implications of this disease.
Since I have a herniated disc, this has been an excellent cover up for me to hide my problem from other people, only a few of my close friends know the truth. But symptoms are giving me away, and I feel soooo much embarrassed to talk about the reality going on.
For you to understand, I live in a developing country, in which even though this is a known and treated illness it is not very common, and is related only with the elderly. There are no support groups, no statistics, no associations, NO NOTHING.
In my personal aspect, even though I'm not pretty, I've always been in good shape and my friends say they envy me ( in a nice way) for the way I look. Many people agree that I seem to be in my last forties instead of mid fifties.
It has caused a tremendous impact, to all of a sudden be a 53-year-old woman looking as a 70-year-old one. I'm ashamed to go out. I don't want other to feel pitty for me, I simply can't stand that.
On the other hand, my husband has been even more supportive than I expected him to be, but I don' want to embarrasse him, when he invites me to go out my immediate answer is no. I'm isolating, I fear this could be the end of my marriage. I'm avoiding people so they don't start questioning me.
Lizzy, I know that you as a woman can understand me.
My therapist is not helping much with this, he is focused in counter pain due to rigidity.
I'm wondering, all this effort is leading me where? I feel like giving up.
That is why I told you before I don't want to let hope die, but.......
No matter how hard I try to be upright, I end up stooped, hunching over and dragging my leg. When doctors said I was going to be OK with meds, I thought that included the vissible signs of the illness.
What worries me the most is that I'm turning into an angry, bitter person, and believe me, I hate this feeling. But I'm human, and I'm weak, I don't know what to do, but I can't help it.
Yes, I'm reading about gratitude, mindfulness and all that, but it is easier said than done.
Sorry for this being to long, sorry if I overwhelmed you.