Reading some of your posts on this thread has, once again, been enlightening, and maybe even a little encouraging. My response above on this thread was more or less an emotional one and a reactionary one to some lady's postings about the above mentioned article (where is that link? I can't find it. I wanted my wife to read it. Would someone post it again?)
Geon I am about your age and had the open surgery about the same time you had your DaVinci. I visited with an ED specialist earlier this week. It was an enlightening visit. For one thing, he prescribed a quad-mix instead of a tri-mix. I have not tried it yet, but hope to tonight. I know the erection induced in his office was not what I had hoped but he seemed estatic estatic about it. He said, "You can poke with that." Well, yes, I can, but I know it will not be like old times. After he saw it he wrote out the quad-mix prescription, so maybe I'll even have a better one tonight.
I've read your words (and others) like "my wife has to support me for it to stay in", etc. Every time I've had the drug-induced or pump-induced erection, it's only been 80% (that's what the specialist called it earlier this week). I have only completed penetration four or five times and every time it's been difficult to penetrate and difficult to stay in. I guess hoping for the old erection will not happen. When I decided to start working on the ED problem, I was under the impression that the injections would produce a lifted-up, hard erection like the pre-surgery days. I asked him how come it did not lift up the way it used to and he told me there was some kind of ligament that was related to or attached to the uretha which is severed in robotic or open surgery. So I guess those of us here will never have that "stand up straight" thingy while we are standing on our feet.
I have just about decided that incontinence is going to be a way of life for me the rest of my days, so I might as well adjust to it. I really get jealous when I read that someone has gone dry after only a few weeks. But I am glad for them...but a little jealous too.
The few times I have been intimate with my wife since the surgery, I have used a condom. But that has caused a "binding" and subsequent pain which of course was not very encouraging. I have driven by a condom store many, many times driving back and forth to work asignments and finally decided to stop and see if condoms came in larger sizes (I was told years ago by a druggist that "one size fits all." I was happy to discover that this store had large, larger, and largest (is there anyone who really has a thingy that big???) I settled for the large. I'll attempt to try it out tonight, too. It appears to be much thinner, too, than what I've purchased at Wal Mart. I am hoping for more sensitivity and a little more freedom inside the condom. Wearing a condom seems to be the only way to keep my sweet dry.
Sorry for the rambling. If someone could post the link to the NY Times article again, I would appreciate it.