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When I got the bad news

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Posted 3/24/2008 1:26 PM (GMT -8)
I still think about the day I got the phone call. I was so convinced it wasn't cancer I never thought about getting the test results. I think I was getting ready to go outside when the phone rang.
"I'm sorry honey, it's cancer," the nurse said.
I said thanks oddly enough then hung up.
Before I could even take another breath the phone rang again. It was my mother-in-law saying she was moving in with us. It was a bad, bad day.

I thought others might post their story.
Posted 3/24/2008 2:44 PM (GMT -8)
Hi wd40,
I am certain that no one does not remember that conversation that confirmed they had cancer. Mine was in person. Ruthie and I waited to see Dr. Z. and he just walked right in and said "Well...There's a little cancer down there." I remember thinking "What the heck is a little cancer". I missed the whole next sentance as he kept speaking. Ruthie was listening too, and she missed that sentance also. I knew almost absolutely nothing about prostate cancer except what I read from that office while I waited for the biopsy. He gave me a pamphlet and a copy of my biopsy and accurately stated "I know you've heard most of what I said but likely not all, take this stuff with you". Within two days I was a member of this site.

Tony
Posted 3/24/2008 3:27 PM (GMT -8)
The doc's office called with my second biopsy resuts. The first test was two months prior and had come back inconclusive. I was sure this one would be clean. We made the appointment and forgot about it.

We sat down with the doc and he said "You have cancer" and handed me the biopsy results. I couldn't believe it till I looked at the report which showed a picture of the cancerous cells and a diagram of where the cancer was found.  I asked what my chances of long-term recovery were and he said "Excellent!"   I don't remember what else he said that day but he gave us a bunch of literature and a book. In the literature was a list of web sites where I found HealingWell. I came here and never left.

Jim
Posted 3/24/2008 6:53 PM (GMT -8)
Well, Don went for a physical...things were going fine until the DRE when a hardness was felt. Bloodwork was ordered and his PSA was 7.96 (it was .7 in 2001).
Then the biopsy with results 2 days later. Everything happened so fast, we had never even considered cancer, so we were in total shock. Don never showed a symptom. It took a good 2 weeks to absorb what was happening. I'd have to say, though, the WORST phone call was Don's first post op PSA.

We didn't find this forum until after surgery and have been here almost every day since!

On a brighter note: no one moved in with us!

Susan
Posted 3/24/2008 7:29 PM (GMT -8)

Thanks for starting the thread, wd40.

 

Just out of chance, I had ordered a PSA in April '07 along with a set of blood tests needed my family doctor for a mid-year checkup.  The reason for the PSA is I had an appointment in March '07 with a new urologist and thought she'd like to know my most current PSA.  My PSA taken in October '06 was 1.2 so I wasn't worried.  One week later, my family doctor office called with my blood test results (they were great!) and then the last number was given, a PSA of 4.3!  I almost fell off my chair!

 

On the next visit with my urologist did a DRE, and felt a suspicious area, but not a hard lump.  She decided to do a biopsy anyway with my PSA jumping to 4.3.  When I visited the urologist's office one week later to get the results, the nurse was extremely friendly and everyone was smiling, so I thought... "the test must have been negative"... not cancer.

 

The urologist came in the exam room, we had some light conversation about how I felt and any new symptoms following the biopsy.  Then she said "I have some not so good news."   The discussion turned serious and we had a discussion regarding the pathology report, the options she favored and other I should consider, and my responsibility to determine how I wanted to proceed.  She gave me a nice book "100 Questions and Answers about Prostate Cancer" by Pamela Ellsworth, et. al. (2003).   I was to call when I decided on a treatment and was told that treatment was not urgent, yet I should probably do something in the next 4-6 months.

 

I had second and third opinions about the results and the rest is history.

 

Barry

Posted 3/24/2008 9:43 PM (GMT -8)

Hi Everyone,

Great new thread, it is interesting to see that most everyone's 1st reaction is shock. Ours too was a shock. Rick had been having bouts of blood in the urine and the Dr. kept giving him cipro for infection. On e morning he had blood in the semen so we called the Doc. he had us go in for an exam and ordered the biopsy for Feb. 14th I said "Thank you Dr. I think" we did the biobsy and on Sunday Feb. 18th My mom died in the afternoon from small cell lung cancer. That evening as I was choosing my moms clothes for her funeral Rick's Doc. called and said Rick had cancer. It was a huge shock. If this were not weird you know how they say strange things happen: Our daughter is now expecting her 2nd child due date 8-16 Rick's birthday & our son is now expecting is 2nd child due date 10-22 My mom's birthday. I am glad our family is growing but I'm sure how I feel about the due dates.

Best wishes to all

Diana

Posted 3/25/2008 12:30 AM (GMT -8)
I remember it well. No symptoms,negative DRE etc. After the urologist said my borderline PSA (3.9 at the time, having increased from 3.2 a year earlier) may be due to a slight chance of the presence of prostate cancer, I elected to eliminate this possibility by undergoing a biopsy. Both my father and mother were each one of seven siblings and as hard as it is to believe there had only been one case of cancer in in the combined families (both sides' siblings, children and grandchildren) and that was in the late 1950's. So I went back for the biopsy results so full of confidence that I told my wife not to worry about coming with me to get the results. To say I was stunned barely describes it. 9 months and a prostatectomy later and I'm still trying to get my head around it.
Bill
Posted 3/25/2008 4:07 AM (GMT -8)

Today is my one-year anniversary for being diagnosed with PC, March 25, 2007.  I was on pins and needles waiting for the results of my biopsy, hoping that the rise in PSA was due to an enlarged prostate. I went from a 2.2 to a 3.0. It took about a week-and-a-half to receive my results because my urologist/surgeon wanted to have a second opinion and sent my slides off to Dr. Epstein at Johns Hopkins.

 

When the doctor entered the examination room where my wife and I were sitting, I knew when I looked at his face that the news was not good. I still remember his words, “Well, we received the results, and just to be sure I had the slides sent off to Johns Hopkins to confirm, but your biopsy came back positive with five samples showing a small amount of cancer.”  He immediately went on to say that it appeared that it was early stage and the chances for the cancer being confined were excellent  Given my family history I was not really surprised. However, although I knew the chances were good that I would be dealing with PC at some point, I always thought it would be in my 70s, not my late 40s.

I had done extensive research ever since my PSA started rising, and I had already made the decision to have the prostate removed by DaVinci Surgery. My doctor knew this and told me that given my age and family history, that I was making a good decision.

 

Upon leaving the doctor’s office my wife and I immediately called our employers and told them we would not be back in that day. We took a trip to the small, quaint little town where we now make our home, had lunch and immediately starting thinking positive thoughts since it appeared that the chances for success were very good. I never once asked “why me,” and after the shock of the news and a private little cry, I immediately started to toughen up. I had been in pretty good shape before the news but I stepped it up a notch afterwards since I wanted to be in the best shape of my life for this battle. Looking back, it was a very smart move since I believe it helped me tremendously in my recovery.

 

One year later my surgery is like a distant memory, and I thank God every night for my success, and pray that the cancer will never, never rear it’s ugly head again.

 

 

Posted 3/25/2008 4:07 AM (GMT -8)

I can remember going in for a phyisical on July 7, 2005. PSA 43? What is PSA? Then on to the Urologist for consult and biopsy. On July 20th he called. Cancer in all 12 cores. 7-9 in all. I was home alone. I thought that it would be cancer and THOUGHT that I hand prepared myself. Tears and prayers. I called my wife and she came home early from work. I called my friends and with those calls we started the journey. The bad news came later on Febuary 7, 2007 when my surgeon called to inform me that my PSA had gone from 0.12 to 1.9. Later I was told that it was "not curable".

Johnnie, my wife, asked me the other day to go back and look at all of my notes and make her a spreadsheet with all the dates, tests, treatments, etc. I was shocked. Since July 7, 2005 I have been either in the hospital, treatment room, or doctors office 91 times. This does not include my shoulder surgery, rehab, or recent hernia surgery. If you add in those we are we over 100 days. Rough math shows that to be once every 10 days are so for 3 years. Pc will change your life. Good news is that these numbers come in second to time spent at church or with family and friends. Just my thoughts on a spring morning in Alabama.

God bless you all and War Eagle,

Walt 

Posted 3/25/2008 4:34 AM (GMT -8)
Like many of you, the news was a surprise. No symptoms whatsoever. The doctor came in with a book in hand and announced that he wished he had better news. I was probably shocked, but listened intently for the next while as he explained my options. I did not get upset until I stopped by my mother's house to pick up my daughter. As I told my mother the news, it occurred to me that my father had done the same thing just feet from where I stood. He gathered the family one evening to tell us he had been diagnosed with Leukemia. He died 45 days later. As we drove home tears welled up in my eyes as the realization of the severity set in. It was brief and I tried to hide it from my wife and daughter. Had to keep up the brave front, you know. It was within days that I found this site, which has been exceptional.

Posted 3/25/2008 5:05 AM (GMT -8)
Although I certainly would have preferred different news, I was not as surprised as many when I got the news. I'd been having my PSA checked for years... when they told me it was over 4, even though that was not a high number, it had been steady between 2 and 3, so something was going on. No symptoms, nothing on the DRE.

Between my biopsy and receiving the results, I talked to my father (who had an open prostatectomy in 2001). He told me a little more about the family history, so by the time of my results I was half expecting the news to be bad...

Like everyone else though, I'll probably always remember getting the news. The doctor said, "Unfortunately, we have something we need to talk about."

Still talking about it... which always helps. I've been fortunate in my results, so far.

Posted 3/25/2008 5:38 AM (GMT -8)
Definitely a time none of us will forget. I was sitting on the sofa with my wife watching TV when the call with the biopsy results came. I was so convinced that it was not going to be bad news that I actually asked the doc if he was kidding. Luckily he is one of the nicest guys around, and I guess had come across that reaction before. I think, to be honest, that I stayed in denial right up to the day of surgery (Oct 17th). Just to make life more interesting, there was a hitch on the operating table (which never fully was explained) so they couldn't operate. I finally had the prostate removed on Dec 17th.

I went for follow up blood tests last week, and will get my results on April 4th, so keep 'em crossed guys....

 

Posted 3/25/2008 6:13 AM (GMT -8)
My story is not much different than most, I went in for my annual phyisical to make sure I was running fine so as to speak. After the Dre my doctor recomended a PSA blood test because he didn't think it was anything but he felt something that he just wanted to make sure about. I had never had a PSA test nor knew what it was, no big deal they were going to be drawing blood anyway let's get it checked and move on. I was 48 at the time so it had never come up before or had any family history of prostate problems. Well I barely got back to the office when I was surprized that my doctor was on the phone already, he told me that the PSA test had come back a little high and I should set up an appointment to see a urologist and have it checked out further. I remember saying whats a little high and he said about 3 time the reading it should have been for a guy my age, it was 6.22 and should not be higher then 2.5, right away I didn't like the sound of this and started research, that's the engineer in me. Long story short I had the biopsy and went out of town on a business trip and would be gone when the results should be back. I got home and my 12 year old daughter said a doctor had called and wanted to know when I would be back and she told him later that night. So I waited to hear from him in the morning and he never called so it can't be too bad or he would get a hold of me right a way. By the afternoon I decided to call in and found that he had taken the rest of the week off so again can't be bad right. So I left a message and his nurse called a little while later and found my results and told me that it looked like I had 2 of the 13 samples come back positive and set up an appointment for me to come in and discuss the options. I remember sitting back in my chair at work after hanging up the phone and going through a few minutes of self doubt and about ones life and longivity. After a while it was research time getting my head, mind and heart aligned and moving on to beat this. From the begining after those first few minutes of being told I felt I had been blessed with many things in this life and this cancer was one more way that I was lucky in the fact I had found out early vs not knowing for maybe years and finding it too late. I must have got this cancer to help others there had to be a bigger reason and on I have went. Even today as most things on my journey has gone very well I now face salvage radiation because I have a small PSA reading that has returned, I still feel very lucky, I know I have it, I have taken the first steps and now will plan the next phase to hopefully put it to rest for at least a lot longer, I hope forever but only time will tell. I go in Thursday with my first meeting with a radiation specalist to begin setting the next phase and to move on and be a source of hope and information for others, the way I choose to look at it. Finding this site just before I went into surgery has been one of the good things to come out of this, getting to know so many wonderful and caring folks, most of which never dreamed we would be here a few years ago but here we are. Thanks for all the support everyone not only gives me but to all those that come to this site and ask questions, what a great site!

Norskie
Posted 3/25/2008 7:02 AM (GMT -8)

  Oh my, I will never forget the day. I had made an appointment with my Urologist because I wanted to update my term life insurance, and after the blood test showed a high PSA, they would not issue a policy without a biopsy. My PCP had been following a very slow rising PSA since 1988! He felt watchful waiting was fine, as the DRE was always negative. So off to the biopsy, 16 very painful samples were taken, but I was sure nothing would come of it. The following week my Wife and I were led into a office, to await the Doc. It took a while for him to show, which I knew was not like him, and I began to have a little doubt. When he came in and shook my hand, the look on his was enough to let me know it was not good news. Still, when he told me that 14 of the 16 cores were positive, I could feel the blood drain from my face, and a numbness set in, at 52 I had cancer! The Dr.  carefully explained my condition, my tumor scores and wrote this info down as he gave me several books and pamplets on Pca. We set up another appointment for two weeks out, to let us review all options and set a plan of action. Somehow I drove us home, walked upstairs together and had a quick cry, still numb. Spent the next two weeks buying every up to date book on Pca, Dr. Walshs book helped the most, researched the Di Venci procedure, and even watched a live Di Venci from my local hospital, done by my Urologist partner. At the two week appointment, we entered with our mind made up to have the Di Venci, to hopefully remove all the cancer and get on with life! The only negative was the wait from August to October 9th to have it done, but have never regreted our decision. We had three main goals, first to remove all cancer, and we seem to have done that, next to regain bladder contol, which we did as soon as Mr. Hang was removed at one week, and third was to be able to regain normal sex, well we are still working on that, but it looks like the pump is fixing that! We feel that God has blessed us, and take life as a gift, one day at a time! This web site has been more helpful than all the boks we read, and we thank all of you who have been so honest in your journey.

Beachbum tongue

Posted 3/25/2008 9:25 AM (GMT -8)
I was kind of eased into the idea that I may have PCa. Two years earlier I had a biopsy because my GP felt that my prostate was asymectrical (the thought enters my head). After two years of a slight rise in PSA my GP wanted me to have another biopsy (clue number two). As my urologist is doing my biopsy he does a kind of "hmmm" and of course I ask "WHAT" and he states it looks a little suspicous of cancer (big clue number three). A week later (three days before going on vacation) he called to say that it was cancer, go on vacation, don't worry and we'll talk when I get back. Needless to say that was one bummer of a vacation. A month and a half later I'm walking around with a Foley bag and a nice "zipper" from the little guy to my belly button.

Ken
Posted 3/25/2008 3:13 PM (GMT -8)

I had a PSA done annually since I was 49 years old...always in a good range.  2006 reading was 1.8.

One week prior to the date scheduled for my 2007 physical, I started having drops of blood at the end of my urine stream.  Urologist said I had a prostate infection, prescribed antibiotics and the symptoms went away in 4 days...but I continued antibiotics for 3 weeks.

After completing antibiotics, I had my physical and the PSA came back at 9.  Doc said not to worry, as it was likely due to inflammation remaining from the infection.

Retested one month later....still 9....more antibiotics from the urologist...he and my family practice guy still thought it was infection related.  3 1/2 weeks later the PSA was 14....a rise of 5 points.  I almost fainted when the urologist told me that number.

Biopsy was the next day, and while I held out hope for it to be lingering effects of infection, my gut told me differently.

Doc called a few days later, at a time when my wife had 6-8 of her friends in our house.  I took the call in another part of the house.  It was a tough, tough call to take...

Took a walk alone, then when my wife's friends left the house an hour or so later, I informed her of the news....still somewhat in shock.

We had scheduled a small cookout at our home that weekend, knowing that I might find out bad news a few days before.  We had the cookout with 3 of our couple friends, talked openly of my situation but did not let it dominate the evening.  I told my wife that whatever lay ahead, I would not stop living and enjoying my friends and family.


Posted 3/26/2008 8:55 AM (GMT -8)

We had to fight with my dad to see a specialist.  His PSA had been over 5 for almost a year and his PCP was just re-testing without sending him to a urologist.  My husband, who is a PCP in Seattle, told my dad that he NEEDED to get a biopsy and quit waiting for his doctor to do nothing.  We really thought it would be negative.  No symptoms, like many of you.

I had been in Chicago for my baby shower that my sister in law was throwing me last July and had flown back on Sunday.  My dad called me 8am on Monday morning right after I had picked up my dog from the pet lodge.  I was shocked,  but was SO positive that they were going to get everything and that we had caught it early. 

I can relate to Susan, when she said that the worst day was following surgery.  The day the Dr. called (Friday) to tell my dad a lymph node was involved was the WORST day ever.  It is the only time in my life where I truly have felt hopelessness.  My hope has been restored, strength renewed, and we continue to fight.

Diana- I too was pregnant with my son when I found out about my father's cancer and felt weird about the timing.  I have come to believe that bad things happen (like cancer) and that God provides miracles when we need them most. My son is the biggest blessing in our lives and looking back, the timing couldn't be better.  Enjoy your two little miracles.

Posted 3/26/2008 10:49 AM (GMT -8)
Got the call while I was out of town on business; it was a shock.  While I was waiting in the airport that night to get back home I got a frantic call from my wife letting me know the house had just been struck by lighting.  I kind of thought god was mad at me.

Posted 3/27/2008 2:14 AM (GMT -8)
It was July 12, 07. I was home from work about an hour when Dr. Kaye called with the Bad news around 5pm. This was my fourth biopsy in the last 9 years, and I had a bad feeling about this one. My PSA went from 8 to 12.1 in one years time, so when he told me it was cancer I thought I was prepared for it. I was wrong.

My wife was still at work, working overtime, so I was by myself until she got home at 8pm. I didn't want to call her at work with the news, so I waited. I thought of now I would tell her when she got home, but there is no good way. I heard her car pull in the garage so I went to the kitchen and started to make her some tea when she came in. She asked me if I had heard anything from Dr. Kaye's office and I told her yes, It's cancer. We just held each other in the kitchen, reassuring each other that everything would be ok. Now almost 8 1/2 months later, we were right. Thank God.
Posted 3/27/2008 8:03 AM (GMT -8)
It was certainly a day I will never forget, 6/25/07. Having just had a bladder infection, I was referred to a urologist just to be sure it was only an infection. My DRE was fine, drew PSA just to be sure, called later that to tell me it was 9.9, but explained that it could be from BPH or my recent infection. When the doc seen me on my office visit he told me it was cancer, I was speechless because I had no symptoms, and had convinced myself I was OK. I am still having trouble dealing with the diagnosis, seems like forever ago at times and at others it seems like yesterday. This site has been more help to me than anyone knows, THANKS to everyone here.
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