Can someone help "us" with our poblem?

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/10/2008 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I know that this is probably unusual. However sometimes you find any means to get the answers you are searching for. I am 32 female dating a 47 male who has had 2 MI's and open heart surgery. He takes Toprol daily for his Hypertension. He has tried Viagra which gave him sever h/a's. Cialias which did nothing. Levetra still nothing. His problem is not that the sensation is gone or the desire to have is gone. His condtition is that his penis will enlarge but not get a true erection. Sometimes not enough to throughly penitrate. We purchased a pump, however as most of you know these things tend to come either with no instructions or instructions that do you no good. I dont know if maybe we are using the pump wrong or what. Is there anyone who can give us advise on using the pump properly and effectively along with the rings. Not sure exactly what we are doing wrong and he really does not want to go to the Dr. that suggested we try the pump to ask what we are doing wrong. This is a subject that he has pretty much given up on talking about this is why i am the one submitting this post. He has come to the realization that it will never work again and he will just live with it. However I truely think that he is just overwhelmed with the aggravation of trying something and it not working again. Please any and all advice will be greatly appreciated.
This man means the world to me and I know that most of you reading this would say "why would you want to be with someone so much older than you with such a dissorder as he has" . Well just let me give you a litltle glimpse of why he means so much to me and why I want to be able to give him what he truley diserves. I was married for 16 years living a life i thought i had to live and no way to get out. My hb of 16 years left me in 2006 with 3 growing teenagers. He left the state and moved in with his gf that he aquired on the road while driving a truck on long hauls. I  never realized how unhappy I was in the marriage until the shock of him leaving wore off. Then in 9/07 I met this wonderful man through some people that we both new. (we new who each other were just not real close like). He and I went out on sort of a pushed together date through these friends of ours. (he also was seperated/divorced about the same time of mine give or take a few months) I never knew that women were suppose to be treated with such respect and pride. This man has taught me alot over the past 7 months. I never knew that I could love the way i do him. He is a wonderful, caring, compassionate, honest, loving man. All i want  is for him and i to be happy and that we are. I just thought if i could give a little more than what we already have it would just make things seem  better. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it is me that keeps him from being able to have a true erection. He reasures me that it is not me that this problem was there before i came into the picture and that he does not know how to fix it without having to go to a urologist for some kinda extreme measures such as surgery or implants or injections that he does not want to have to do. Any way plesase help me help him. God will reward you for all you do for others. Thank you greatly, Mel

FLHW(David E)
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 4/10/2008 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Mel....I hate to be frank, but I'm not sure what this has to do with PCa? Other than some of us take ED drugs? It sounds like he might need the help of a counselor or doctor that specializes in this area. However, I repeat not sure what our PCa group can offer?
Dx'd 2/18/05
PSA 219, bone mets, lymph node involvement
Gleason Score: 7
Current (2-24-08)
PSA: 29
Lupron, Nilandron

Personal Blog:

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 598
   Posted 4/10/2008 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, there are plenty of solutions for him, all he has to do is ask. But it will involve going to a urologist. It seems to me that his next step is injections. If you read the testimonials on here, you will probably see that they are not a big deal and work very well.
This is a prostate Cancer support group, but you may get some answers. There are also tons of ED boards out there that can help as well.
This is a frustrating situation so I understand what brought you here. good luck.

47 at Diagnosis.
Father died of Pca 4/07 at 86.
1/06 PSA 3.15
1/07 PSA 4.6      (Biopsy 3/07 just suspicious)
10/07 PSA 5.06   (Biopsy 11/07  1 of 12 with 8% involvment) (1mm)
Da Vinci surgery Jan 5, '08 at Mt. Sinai Hosp. NYC
Saved both nerve bundles.
Path Report:  Stage T2cNxMx
-Gleason (3+3)6
-totally contained to prostate,
-10% involvement in L & R Mid lobes
PSA 0 at six weeks
Pad free on March 14 - (10 weeks.)
ED - Take 100mg viagra every night.
Totally usable erections at 10 weeks.

Post Edited (Paul1959) : 4/10/2008 6:34:50 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 4/10/2008 7:38 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey ~ Mel,

I'm going to place a link here for you to go to and as you read the postings hopefully you will find something you can pull from to help both of you.  Reaching out is a good thing... and I'm sure others will come on board to add a little personal experiences that again ~ may help.

click here...> Prostate Cancer Resources and Direct Links to Sites, Videos, Books, etc. to help with your research!

Once you reach the thread, page down approx 13 times until you see  *ED

Also, continue to search the last 10 pages of our forum because there are new threads that I have not yet placed on the thread above...

Thank you for sharing your journey and we wish you well....  Lee


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 528
   Posted 4/10/2008 8:37 PM (GMT -6)   

Don't you think there enough ED related posts on this board to validate someone's asking about it without reference to PCa?

1/2005 Dx PSA 26.5 Gleason 7 (4+3) @Age 61
1/2005 Start Casodex and Zoladex
PSA drops to <0.01
7/2005-8/2005 5 weeks of IMRT and then HDR brachy
1/2007 Rad Oncologist orders CT scan of pelvis
because of complaints of pain in both thighs
MRI confirms pain not caused by cancer BUT
1/2007 CT scan of pelvis picks up a nodule at bottom of left lung
5/2007 CT scan of lungs shows 1/2007 nodule has grown and
there are numerous nodules on both lungs.
6/2007 Thoracic surgeon removes wedge of left lung for biopsy
6/2007 Path report says 95% chance of metastatic PCa, but she's
never seen cells like this before.
8/2007 2nd opinion at M.D. Anderson in Houston.
They confirm: mutated PCa, very rare, but seen there 2 or
3 times. Recommendation: have CT scans every 6 weeks
and watch for change. At that point start chemo and will
survive for 22 - 24 months thereafter.
PSA still undetectable, but get Lupron shot to bring T down from 27
2/2008 Trip to Houston – PSA now 0.5 and nodules larger. Lupron shot.

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