lifeline - I've been waiting for you to post and it's good to see you back.
Rob is dealing with so much, his struggle to beat back this dreadful cancer, side effects from treatments, knowing his life is not going to be the same again and missing what's he's lost. It sounds as if he's trying to come to terms with some of these issues, just as you must do.
This is what I said to you on your last post:"I noticed that you have your name on a list for counseling and that's good. But after reading through your post twice it seems apparent that you very much need help right now. Right now. I did a search for online counseling and came up with a site by the name of "Cancer Care". They offer online, telephone or face to face counseling for the person with cancer, for the loved one or for the professional. Please give this a try - here's the site - you can copy & paste into the address bar:
You need someone outside your family to talk with and who can give you the feedback in a regular conversation. I think you know we all care about you here but right now you need more. I hope you can bring yourself to do this - since you are with Rob every day you need (have) to take care of yourself, as Lee pointed out. Do this for yourself and it will benefit both of you."
I believe this still applies and I hope you go ahead and make this connection.
Please continue to post, there are so many here who care about
Husband Diagnosed 11/17/05 Age: 63 PSA: 7.96 No Symptoms
2/09/06: LRP - Post Pathology - Gleason 4+3 Stage T2b NO MX
3 mo. PSA: 11.8 Stage T3a
6 mo. PSA: 18.8 Stage IV Systemic w/ distant lymph node involvement
Start HT - Lupron 3 mo. shots
12/06/06: PSA 0.8
03/07/07: PSA 0.3PSA - Undetectable since 6/07/07
Link to journey: